Computer Viruses and Love Bugs
by FujoshiFangirl
Summary: Sasuke can't wait to finish high school and get out of Konohagakure. He dreams of life as an openly gay university student somewhere far away from his hometown. But will he make it through his senior year after his closely guarded secret is accidentally revealed to two classmates he barely even knows, all because he sucks at technology?
1. Impossibly Blue Eyes

The first day of the last year of high school. The beginning of the end. The home stretch. The moment of truth when Sasuke would put all of his energy into applying to universities so he could leave this backwards hole of a town.

Sasuke closed his eyes, envisioning his future life as a University student - as an adult. He would be unhindered by the fear of homophobic neighbors and classmates, somewhere far away where no one knew him or his brother. Just nine more months and it would all be over. He was going to relish those ridiculous graduation hats and those frumpy robes; the sappy, pathetic speeches about changing the world and growing up; the repetition of the same lame speech the headmaster gave every single year at every graduation for every class even since before Itachi was a freshman.

He ran a hand through his dark hair, double checking that the light rain hadn't deflated his styling. It was a bit stiff and brittle from years of abuse with flat irons, bleach, dyes, styling gels and really heavy duty shampoo to remove said styling gels. You wouldn't know it unless you touched his hair yourself though, and Sasuke Uchiha did not allow anyone to touch him - especially not his carefully styled hair - so he didn't care about the damage much.

"It's the homestretch! Just one more year, then we're FREEEEE!"

Sasuke could not help but instinctively direct his eyes towards the startling and abrupt sound of his classmate's voice. His words bounced off the linoleum that covered both the floor and walls of Konoha High School. He could practically see the locker doors shuttering on their rusty, pathetic hinges. Naruto Uzumaki was sporting his usual eye-singing orange basketball uniform, even on day one, when there was likely no basketball practice for him up dress up for. Naruto never needed an excuse to dress like a sunset on steroids.

"Man, I cannot wait get the hell out of here," Kiba Inuzuka agreed, clasping his hands behind his head. Another boy, slightly taller with brown spiky hair pulled up with a hair tie, made a sound of agreement without words as Naruto continued to blab on about how he was determined to make the most of their senior year.

Sasuke averted his gaze to anything and everything that was in the exact opposite direction of that moronic blond jock, and began to walk in the direction of the cafeteria to grab a snack before class just so he wouldn't have to walk behind Naruto and his little possé while they jabbered on obnoxiously.

He chose a bag of pretzels from a vending machine and ate them leisurely as he walked, enjoying their saltiness immensely after having skipped breakfast. He had never really been big on breakfast, he just was never very hungry in the morning until he'd had his coffee and some time to properly wake up.

Sasuke crumpled the bag and tossed it towards the small trash bin just inside the door as he entered the room. It bounced off the edge and fell to the floor. He left it where it was and took a seat in the back row. The window seat had been taken, so he settled for the one next to it with a scowl.

Class consisted mostly of Mr. Hatake going over the curriculum agenda for the semester, followed by a list of supplies that would be needed for the biology class which would not be supplied by the school. Sasuke copied the shopping list diligently in his neat, heavily slanted cursive handwriting. He hated typing, and did nearly all of his essays by hand unless they were required to be quite lengthy. The result was very neat and practiced penmanship.

Mr. Hatake - or Kakashi, as he allowed the upperclassmen to call him - was among Sasuke's preferred teachers. He got straight to the point and didn't try to explain every little detail for the idiots, though he often made exceptions for Naruto. It was common knowledge that the two of them had some kind of family relationship outside of school, though Sasuke himself was not privy on the details, nor did he care to be.

Class was dismissed early. Sasuke could only assume that Kakashi wanted more time to read his little book between classes. He'd noticed the teacher's obsession with reading the previous year. Sasuke also considered himself an avid reader, yet somehow he got the feeling that his and Kakashi's personal reading lists did not quite align. After packing away his things, Sasuke looked up to the front of the classroom to try and make out what was on the cover of the teacher's book, and was slightly annoyed to see a simple crossed out circle on a red background. There were some small words at the bottom, but Sasuke could not make them out even when he squinted at them. What really unnerved him though was the look on the man's face: the single uncovered eye squinting at the page, the slight blush creeping up clean shaven cheeks, the clenched jaw trying not to give away the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Sasuke confirmed to himself that he was definitely not interested in that man's reading list. He could only assume the subject matter pertained to women. The hairs on his arms stood up at the thought of it, almost like a physical premonition of what caught his eye next: Sakura Haruno.

 _Oh please, no,_ he thought to himself. No dice. Their eyes met and the girl's eyes opened so wide Sasuke hoped they would just fall out of her head so she'd stop staring. Again, no luck. The rosette's cheeks were almost the same shade of pink as her hair by the time she had weaved her way over to him through the desks. She now stood on the other side of the desk Sasuke had been sitting at. She was slightly bent at the hips with her hand flat on the desk, and her breast falling forward slightly. Sasuke got the feeling that this had all been practiced in the mirror beforehand. He almost pitied her complete naivety at his lack of interest in women. But then again, the Uchiha made a point of not outwardly showing interest in _anything_. Especially not men - not in this town at least.

"Hi, Sasuke," she said with a coy smile. "How was your summer?" Sasuke ever so slightly raised an eyebrow at her, even though he tried halfheartedly not to. _Doesn't she get it by now? How many years does it take for a girl to get over a silly crush?_ He wondered. She beamed at him, smiling wider. "Oh, my summer was great!" she told him, misinterpreting his small eyebrow movement as quizzical - a sign of interest - and cursed himself for it.

"Bye then," he said coldly as he turned away from her. The classroom was mostly empty by this time. The girl who'd beaten him to the window seat was still finishing up copying down the list of supplies on the board, paying him no mind. Sasuke did not know her name, but he recognized her face from previous years of being beaten to the back window seats in various classrooms. Their rivaling interest in similar seats aside, Sasuke didn't mind her nearly as much as he minded most girls - or most people, actually. She never tried to talk to him or follow him, but she would still give him a warm smile if their eyes ever chanced to meet. She seemed genuinely nice in a way that wasn't obsessive or obnoxious, and she had kind eyes.

As Sasuke made his way to the door, he noticed Naruto glaring openly at him. He seemed irritated. Sasuke wasn't sure what he'd done, but still took pleasure in the fact that he was annoying the obnoxious blond moron somehow, so he returned the glare for a moment as he passed by, allowing a smirk to show on his face and staring intently into the other boy's impossibly blue eyes.

X X X

Sasuke flopped onto his bed and closed his eyes, letting his messenger bag fall from his grasp onto the floor. The first week of school had been so impossibly long that he was already starting to reconsider whether or not he could really make it through this final year. He opened his eyes to look at the ceiling. The fan whirled around and around and around and around and…

Sasuke dreamed the same thing he did every time he fell asleep since moving back to the Uchiha Estate. The door to his parent's bedroom, blood seeping out beneath it. The blood creeping towards the walls, creeping up them, covering his shoes, winding around his ankles. It held him in place. He couldn't run. He couldn't even take a single step to get away. The door cracked open and more blood gushed through the seam. A gentle breeze wafted through the opening in the door. It smelled like smoke and… toast?

Onyx eyes shot open. _Toast?_ He thought about what the scents of smoke and toast together implied for a moment, wondering whether he was finally starting to lose his marbles for real or if this meant he was starting to get better. _Toast!_ he realized suddenly, leaping out of bed and wiping the cold sweat from his brow with the back of his wrist. _Fuck!_ He flung his bedroom door open and sniffed the air, though it didn't take a dog to determine what the house smelled like. He remembered how he'd been hungry on his way home from school, how he'd turned on the oven to toast a bagel and made a mental note to buy a toaster soon.

He took the stairs three at a time and walked briskly to the kitchen, cursing internally about how spread out all the rooms in the house were. He'd only been living there for barely over a month - since he'd turned eighteen in July - but he knew exactly where everything was. Before that, he'd been tossed around various foster homes between his parents' death and his eighteenth birthday. The Uchiha Corporation had gone under a long time ago, but the house and family fortune had waited for him until he came of age. So now here he was, silently thanking the universe or whatever for not letting the family home burn down as he turned the knob on the stove and glanced around for an oven mitt. The bagel was entirely black, and smoking quite a bit. Sasuke set it on a plate anyways - not that he intended to eat it or anything - before sliding the back door open to air the place out.

X X X

Sasuke used the weekend to buy some things he needed for the house - a toaster being at the top of the list. He also bought some school supplies, including a laptop. He had realized he would need some sort of computer for school, since he'd always just used whatever desktop belonged to whatever foster family he was with at the time, and his smartphone wasn't going to cut it for making power points. He had considered just using the school computers, but ultimately decided he didn't want to spend any more time at school than he absolutely had to. Besides, it wasn't like he didn't have the money. The Uchiha fortune stacked with the federal aid he received for being a foster kid assured he would live comfortably for at least the next ten years even without employment. He planned to get a business degree and start up The Uchiha Corporation again after university, long before that ran out. Sasuke didn't worry much about money, but he didn't go around throwing it away on junk either. He needed it to last awhile so he could focus on university full time without needing a job.

He left the shopping bags on the kitchen table and took only the laptop upstairs with him to his room. He quickly realized he should have also grabbed some scissors or a knife to get all the wretched packaging off, but eventually managed with just his hands. He plugged the laptop in and turned it on. He was running his fingers over the edges, feeling all the little buttons, when he noticed a small plastic tab. He tugged on it, and a clear sheet of plastic he hadn't even know was there peeled away from the screen. He tossed it into the pile of packaging garbage that was accumulating on the floor beside the bed.

Finally, the blasted thing booted up with a friendly little chime and Sasuke quickly followed all the setup prompts. He named the computer _UchihaLaptop_ but didn't bother to change the user profile name from _Username_ , partly because he saw no point, and partly because it amused him for no particular reason. He connected to the WiFi he'd already set up the previous day, and wasted no time at all pulling up a web browser window. He could not even remember the last time he'd watched porn on a screen larger than his phone, and was eager to test out his new device.


	2. Sunkissed Hair

Naruto's friend with the brunette ponytail rolled his eyes. "Naruto, I'm not going to do the whole thing for you. There are way better things I could be doing right now," he said, not even bothering to look up from the laptop on the table he was seated at. "How did you even get this far in school without knowing how to make a powerpoint yourself?"

Naruto was pacing back and forth between the chalkboard and the back wall of the computer lab. No one else was there because the clubs hadn't officially started yet. It was only the second week of school, and most club leaders were still getting everything together, as Shikamaru was supposed to be doing today for the Tech Club. "Iruka always does it for me," he whined. "But he's gone on a class camping trip with his little brats right now, and Kakashi refuses. Something about being independent or something, I don't know!"

"Okay, okay," the brunette sighed. "I'll show you the steps _one_ more time, and then you're on your own."

Sasuke continued to stand in the open doorway, unsure of how to approach the two of them.

"It'll be so much faster if you just do it for me," Naruto insisted.

"Ahem."

Naruto and the other boy simultaneously turned their heads in Sasuke's direction.

"Um, greetings," Sasuke said, feeling ridiculous as soon as the word left his mouth.

Naruto raised one blond eyebrow, looking entirely confused, but the boy at the computer smiled warmly at him. "Hello," he greeted Sasuke. "Are you here about signing up for the Tech Club?"

"No. It's a personal matter. I'd like you to look at my computer." Sasuke reached into his messenger bag and pulled out the laptop, which did not as of yet have a case or sleeve. "I've only had it since this weekend, but I think something's wrong with it." He hated to ask for help, but tried to think of it as a cheaper version of a computer shop. "I can pay you," he added.

"Sasuke Uchiha, right? Shikamaru Nara. Bring it here." Shikamaru held out his hand impatiently. Sasuke complied silently, standing by the table awkwardly with one hand resting on his messenger bag and the other nervously tapping his thigh while he waited for Shikamaru to boot up the device. "Password?"

"There isn't one." Sasuke watched as Shikamaru downloaded an anti-malware program, wondering why he hadn't thought to do that himself. Sasuke was pretty much clueless when it came to technology, and he knew it.

"Feel free to take a seat," Shikamaru told him. "It's going to take a while for the program to scan your computer."

Sasuke walked around the table and hung his bag on the back of a chair, but didn't sit down. Instead, he wandered towards the window. The computer lab - the smaller of the two at Konoha High - was on the third and highest story of the Sciences Building. Down below in the courtyard outside, he could make out two figures seated on a bench together. One of them was unmistakably Ino Yamanaka. Sasuke had become quite skilled at recognizing her from a distance so as to more effectively avoid her like the plague. He had a sudden urge to duck below the window sill to hide from her, but ignored it. She seemed rather preoccupied with her bench companion, and was facing away from the building anyways. The person with her was some jock from the basketball team clad in the spirited green and orange combo associated with the Foxes, the school mascot. They seemed to be flirting happily down there in the open. People walked past them, paying them no mind at all. He turned away from the window to watch Shikamaru work, and saw that Naruto was looking over the brunette's shoulder with with the biggest, most moronic grin smeared across his face.

"What?" Sasuke demanded, feeling slightly irritated. The laptop was practically brand new, it wasn't like there was anything embarrassing saved on it.

Shikamaru looked up at him, seemingly not as interested in whatever they were looking at as Naruto was. "Sasuke, if you're going to watch porn, I suggest you get an antivirus."

 _Oh my God._

Naruto looked up at him now too. "Who would've thought Uchiha the Ladykiller isn't even into the ladies. You know, this actually makes a lot of sense."

Sasuke stared into Naruto's eyes, imagining all the ways in which the blond idiot would use this information to ruin him. He felt so stupid! Why hadn't he just toughed it out and waited until he got out of Konoha? He could have found a _real_ guy to fuck him, had a _real_ experience. If only he'd bought a magazine, or downloaded a program to protect against this kind of thing, or gone to a legitimate computer shop run by people he didn't go to school with, or heaven forbid just not masterbated or… _anything!_

He took a deep breath as quietly as he could manage. _I can fix this,_ he told himself. "What are you talking about?"

"Dude, this thing is _riddled_ with "meet hot guys in your area" adware," Naruto explained, air quotes and all.

"Like, gay ads?" Sasuke was determined to lie his way out of this somehow.

Naruto snorted. "Uh, yeah, like gay ads. You know, with naked dudes taking it up the ass?" He motioned a hand towards the screen. "The pop-ups don't lie, man."

"It must've been my roommate," Sasuke said dryly. "I always thought he was kinda creepy."

Naruto's eyebrow twitched noticeably. "What was that, asswipe?"

Sasuke wiped the sweat from his palms off on his pants. "I'll just make my roommate pay to get it fixed. Don't worry about it." He reached for his messenger bag and dug his wallet out. "Here's a twenty for your time." He tossed the bill onto the table and snapped the laptop shut loudly.

Naruto reached a hand over Shikamaru's shoulder and placed it firmly on the laptop before Sasuke could pick it up. "You know" he spat. "It's bigoted people like you who ruin this fucking town." Their eyes met, and Sasuke could see the other boy's pain and anger clearly on his expression.

Sasuke just smirked wryly. "Faggot." And with that he smacked Naruto's wrist away and scooped up his laptop. He slung his bag over his shoulder and left without bothering to put the device back into the bag.

He walked to his car briskly and tossed the messenger bag and the laptop onto the backseat. Once inside himself, he locked the doors - though he wasn't really sure why - and gripped the steering wheel hard, watching as his already incredibly pale knuckles turned almost truly white. _Breathe,_ he commanded himself. _Breathe, idiot._ He looked out the passenger side window at the Sciences Building, and saw a head of sunkissed hair looking in his direction from the other side of the glass.

Suddenly Sasuke felt like the biggest hypocritical jerk on the planet.

X X X

 _Sasuke was sitting at the kitchen table eating orange slices. The sticky juice was all over his face and hands. He didn't really like feeling sticky, but the sweet, acidic juice got everywhere regardless of how careful he tried to be._

" _Little pig," Itachi teased. "Take this." He handed his little brother a damp cloth. "Put that plate in the dishwasher when you're done, too."_

" _Yeah, whatever." Sasuke hated being bossed around by his older brother, but figured that since Itachi had sliced the oranges for him, he would put the plate away._

 _Itachi snickered at his kid brother and left the room. Seconds later, Sasuke heard the hum of voices from the television, and put the plate away before going to the family room to join his brother, plopping down beside him and resting his head against the couch's armrest. Itachi was watching some movie with a lot of talking and not a lot of anything else. He often felt that his brother was quite boring for a twelve year old boy. He didn't like action movies, superheroes, cars, or any of the things that Sasuke liked. He watched grown-up movies a lot - movies where people argued, kissed or talked about things that weren't interesting. Sasuke couldn't help but fidget as he tried to get into the movie. It seemed to be the same one Itachi had been watching the previous night. He'd paused it and sent Sasuke to bed earlier than his parents usually did. Sasuke considered complaining to his mother that Itachi had sent him to bed much too early when they came home from their trip. "When are mom and dad coming back?"_

" _Tonight, after you're in bed. They'll be here when you wake up tomorrow." It wasn't uncommon for their parents to leave them home alone. Itachi had a cellphone which he used to call them twice a day whenever they were away somewhere. They trusted Itachi, who never did anything bad or mischievous. They never left for more than a night or two, though, and never on a school night. Sasuke shifted his weight to his other side to lean against his brother. In the movie, two men were walking along the beach asking each other questions about their personal lives. He felt a hand on his head and closed his eyes, falling asleep to the sound of waves crashing._

X X X

Sasuke had seriously considered not showing up for school the following day, but decided against it. Even if Naruto and Shikamaru hadn't bought the lie and told the entire town about his gay porn, his grades came first. He would have to brave it for the greater good - so he could actually leave next year. He closed his eyes for a moment in the parking lot to imagine himself as a college freshmen walking along on a beach somewhere holding hands with some hot guy with a surfer tan. He opened his eyes, summoned the most stoic, uncaring expression he could muster, then grabbed his bag off the passenger seat and left the car.

It was a nice day, as far as the weather went. The hot summer was about over, and it was finally cooling down, but the sky was still clear and the air was still warm enough that a jacket wasn't quite necessary just yet. The warm sun made Sasuke feel less tense, if only slightly.

He forced himself not to sneak glances at other students who passed him to watch for snickers. He plowed straight forward, gripping the messenger bag's strap tightly with one hand, the other clenched in the pocket of his jeans. He reached the classroom and took his usual far back window seat, relieved about getting to it before that one quiet girl had. _Speak of the devil,_ he thought when she took the seat beside him. She smiled at him, and he _almost_ felt tempted to smile back, but didn't. She didn't seem to mind, and looked towards the front of the classroom unfazed. "Sasuke Uchiha." He said his own name almost at a whisper, even though class hadn't started yet and students were still noisily filtering in.

"Hinata Hyuuga," she replied equally as quietly and still facing forwards.

That was all they said to one another. Naruto and Shikamaru rolled in just as Mr. Kakashi was starting to set down his book. Sasuke held his breath, watching them intently, but nothing special happened. They took the last two available seats, one at the very front and one towards the center beside Sakura - Naruto went for the latter of course. Sasuke watched the blond boy greet her. He couldn't hear anything from his spot at the back of the room, but it looked like she was ignoring him completely.

"Alright class, pass your assignments forwards." Kakashi motioned for the class to pass their homework towards him with one hand, the other holding the book open halfway inside the drawer. He waited until the sound of papers being stacked together and passed along ceased before finally setting it down and sliding the drawer shut. He collected the stacks of papers from the front rows, combined them into one large stack, and tossed them sloppily onto his desk. "Alright, labs are starting next week so today I'm splitting you all into teams of three. All of your lab work and group assignment will be within these teams. They are non-negotiable. They may or may not remain the same for the duration of the semester. Deal with it." He pulled a folded piece of paper from his shirt pocket and began reading off students' names in threes. "Shikamaru Nara, Ino Yamanaka, and Chouji Akimichi." Sasuke was relieved to know that he wouldn't be stuck with Ino or Shikamaru, two very bad potential lab partners for very different reasons. "Hinata Hyuuga, Kiba Inuzuka, and Shino Aburame." He hadn't necessarily _wanted_ to be placed with Hinata, but he definitely would have picked her over any of their other biology classmates. _Oh well, at least there's only Naruto and Sakura to work about now._ "Sakura Haruno, Naruto Uzumaki..." Sasuke had to internally laugh at the poor fool who got those two together. Naruto looked rather pleased with himself as he gave a hearty grin and two thumbs up to his friend Kiba.

"...and Sasuke Uchiha." Naruto's hands went limp at the wrists, Sakura lifted her head off of her desk, and Sasuke's brow met the wood of his own desk so violently he was sure it would bruise.


	3. An Open Book

_It was a warm day in early summer. Itachi sat with one leg tucked beneath him and the other dangling off the edge of the porch. He was leaning back on one hand and holding his phone with the other. Sasuke was standing on the swing in the backyard, trying to figure out how to get some momentum without being able to use his legs to propel himself the usual way._

" _Sasuke Uchiha!" He looked up in response to his name to see his mother standing in the threshold of the sliding glass door that led into the house. "Get down from there, you know better than to stand on the swing. Itachi, you're supposed to be watching him."_

 _Itachi flipped his phone shut and looked back over his shoulder at Mikoto. "Sorry. I am watching him, I promise."_

" _It doesn't look that way to me. You only have that phone for emergencies because you watch your brother when we're away. I will take it away if it's distracting you." She retreated back into the house without waiting for a reply or bothering to slide the door closed._

 _Sasuke hopped off the swing. He didn't quite stick the landing, but he didn't completely fall either. "What are you always doing on that phone anyways?"_

 _Itachi simply answered, "messaging a friend."_

" _What's his name?"_

" _Shusui."_

" _Isn't he our cousin?"_

" _He's like our great aunt's grandson's half brother or something, I think." Itachi shrugged and flipped his phone open again. "Dad probably knows better than I do."_

X X X

Sasuke tried to convince himself that everything was going to be fine. Nothing had happened since the laptop incident the previous week - or at least nothing to Sasuke's knowledge - so the idiots must have bought the lie about Sasuke's made-up roommate. Otherwise surely _something_ would have come up by Monday, right? _Yes,_ he told himself. _The idiots actually believed it. I'm scott free._

Instead of regular biology first period every day, first and second periods on Mondays were now going to be labs, which meant that every Monday morning would be spent with Naruto and Sakura. _Wow, what a great way to start the week._ Sasuke groaned for the hundredth time that morning.

He paused outside of the Science Building's little computer lab when he saw the Tech Club's sign-up sheet taped to the door. " _You know, it's bigoted people like you who ruin this fucking town."_ What exactly had Naruto meant by that? Initially, Sasuke had thought the insult was directed at him because his sexuality had come to light, but neither of the two boys who'd seen the malware on his laptop had disclosed anything to anyone, as far as Sasuke was aware. But then, if Naruto had believed the lie about his made-up roommate, why call him names? None of it made any sense. Surely they weren't doing him a favor. Were they perhaps keeping their mouths shut because he'd paid them twenty dollars? Sasuke had only meant to pay Shikamaru for looking at the laptop, nothing more, though in retrospect he'd taken the device back before it had actually been repaired and he'd probably overpaid them in his hurry to leave. Sasuke sighed deeply and continued walking towards the laboratory.

He spotted Sakura's pink hair, but didn't see Naruto sitting anywhere near her. He walked over towards her, thinking to himself that he could probably handle Sakura as long as he didn't have to deal with her and that blond idiot both at the same time. Maybe he'd gotten lucky and Naruto was sick or something. He took a seat beside Sakura and set his bag on the floor. She swiveled her stool around to face him and flashed her biggest, brightest smile. "It looks like Naruto's not here today," she said happily. "Looks like it'll just be you and me today," she added coyly.

Sasuke turned away from her without responding and pretended to search through his bag for something so he wouldn't have to talk to her. Eventually his back started to ache from leaning over so he pulled out a blank composition book and a pen and sat up straight. He busied himself with titling his biology labs book with bubble letters while he waited for class to start. " _Uhh_ , no," Sakura groaned. Sasuke thought he had a pretty good idea of what she was complaining about, and for once, he sympathised with her. He turned towards the door anyways to confirm his suspicions, and sure enough Naruto was standing there glancing around the room in search of his lab partners. Sasuke considered raising a hand to help him out, but instead just turned back to his bubble letters and continued working as if he hadn't noticed Naruto's arrival at all.

"Naruto, over here," Kakashi called to him, motioning towards Sasuke and Sakura. Sasuke raised his head to scowl at his teacher, who just raised a quizzical eyebrow at him before turning away and tucking his book into his own messenger bag. Naruto came up behind them and hesitated, then took the only available seat. Sasuke mentally scolded himself for not taking Naruto's current spot for himself. As it was, he was trapped with Sakura giggling to his left and Naruto grumbling unhappily to his right. He should have taken the seat to his right and let Naruto distract himself by trying to get Sakura's attention.

Class wasn't actually so bad. Sakura was as annoying as ever, but Naruto remained pretty quiet. They finished the project long before any other groups because they didn't stop to socialize at all. Kakashi double checked that they had all the required information and told them they could leave early once they had cleaned up. He also informed them that the complete lab report needed to be turned in by Friday, just like labs had been the previous year.

Sakura suggested that the best way to divide up the work would be to have one person make the graphs, then have the other two people work together on the writing portions. "Naruto why don't you do the graphs?" She was looking eagerly at Sasuke when she suggested it.

"Uh, I'm kinda really bad at stuff like that," he admitted sheepishly. "Sasuke why don't you do it, and we'll do the writing."

Sasuke jumped at the opening. "Done!" Naruto's crush on Sakura was saving him from having to work with one of them himself. Like Naruto, he sucked at making graphs, charts, powerpoints, all that stuff. But he'd figure it out if it meant he could do it alone. Besides, he excelled at math, it was just a matter of working with numbers digitally. "Give me your emails so I can send you the data when it's done."

"Mine's Haruno roses at gmail." Sakura blushed. "Feel free to message me about other stuff too, not just labs. My cell number -"

"I don't want it," Sasuke cut her off abruptly. "I won't be calling you or anything."

"Foxy, underscore, ramen with three n's at gmail," Naruto told him, looking sadly at Sakura.

Sasuke wrote it under Sakura's email and read it out letter by letter again to double check.

"Yep, foxy_ramennn. You got it." Naruto turned to Sakura sheepishly. "So, my place or yours?"

"Idiot!" She snatched the test tube rack and took it to the sink.

Naruto spaced out watching Sakura's back while she angrily scrubbed the supplies clean. "You're so lucky you don't have to deal with women, Sasuke." A lump formed in Sasuke's throat as he tried to form words, to say something only a really, really straight guy would say, but nothing came to mind. "Don't worry, I'm not going to drag you out of the closet if you don't want to be out," the blond continued, still watching Sakura. "If you want to be a little bitch and hide in the dark forever, that's your choice."

Sasuke shot up out of his seat. His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides as if he were trying to physically grasp the right thing to say. "Tsk," was all he could manage to get out.

Naruto turned towards him now, looking smug as ever. "I think you just popped a blood vessel in your eye. You might want to cool your shit, man," he teased. Sasuke could feel a slight painful twinge in his left eye. "Or, do I just turn you on the much?" He waggled his eyebrows in mock suggestion.

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about."

"Sasuke?" He turned to see Sakura standing beside him. "Are you okay?" she asked. "Your eye's all red."

"Sakura, go out with me." The words had come without being summoned, and Sasuke immediately wished that he could stuff them back into his own mouth.

But it was too late. Sakura's eyes were glossed over with tears of happiness. "Oh, Sasuke!" She reached her hands out in front of her to place them on her beloved's chest.

"Don't touch me," he commanded, swatting her hands away. He turned away from her and promptly left the classroom.

X X X

" _Itachi, please explain this to me." Fugaku held up his son's cell phone with one hand and rubbed his temple with his other. "Your mother and I have know idea what to make of this."_

 _Itachi sat at the kitchen table with his head in his hands. "I'm sorry dad. I don't know, it just happened."_

" _This isn't the kind of thing that just_ happens _, Itachi," he said angrily. "You don't just_ accidentally _take a picture like this and_ accidentally _send it to someone."_

" _I won't do it again, I promise."_

" _You're only thirteen, son. This is child pornography! You could go to jail. Your mother and I could go to jail!" He snapped the phone shut and shoved it in his pocket. "And Shisui is family, don't you know that? What's_ wrong _with you? What kind of influence do you want to be on your little brother?"_

 _Sasuke could see tear rolling down Itachi's forearms. "Sasuke, please go," Itachi begged. Sasuke wasn't sure how his brother had known he'd been peeking in on them when his hands were covering his eyes, but he obeyed and scurried up the stairs to his bedroom. He fell onto his bed and stretched his arms out, quickly falling asleep to the hum of the ceiling fan._

X X X

Sasuke lay in bed following the ceiling fan with his eyes. He had just returned home from school, which had been a really strange experience. Sakura had attempted to approach him multiple times since labs that same morning, only to be blatantly ignored. Sasuke had no idea how to deal with her, and it seemed he'd only made his situations worse by eons. He hadn't seen Naruto in visual arts, the only other class they had together, so he'd probably skipped. At least wanting to avoid each other was something that he and the blond moron could both agree on.

Sasuke groaned and sat up, wondering how he was going to survive labs for the rest of the semester, which reminded him that he needed to get that data sorted out. He leaned down to get his messenger bag off the floor and pulled out his laptop and biology lab notebook.

He'd been tinkering with Google Spreadsheets for all of 10 minutes when the boredom started to become overwhelming. He started to think about Naruto, and wondered if asking Sakura out meant the vow of silence was out the window now. " _If you want to be a little bitch and hide in the dark forever, that's your choice."_ Sasuke scowled. _Naruto couldn't possibly understand what it's like,_ he thought. _If he had seen Itachi go through it like I did, he would understand._ Naruto pissed him off like no one else could. He couldn't possibly understand - Naruto was straight! " _Or, do I just turn you on that much?"_ Sasuke paused. Surely that moron had just been trying to get under his skin like always. He'd been teasing him. Naruto was in love with Sakura and always had been. Besides, Naruto was an open book. That part of his personality came hand in hand with being a showoff. If he was into guys, everyone would know it.

There was a sudden pain in Sasuke's chest. _Everyone would know it,"_ he repeated to himself mentally. _Naruto… he's actually pretty brave, isn't he._


	4. That Pretentious Grin

_Just do it, Sasuke. This is pathetic,_ he told himself. _Just do it!_ Sasuke turned the doorknob with more force than was necessary and swung the door open with borderline violence.

"Sasuke!" Ino pushed off the desk she had been leaning on and stood straight up. "I see, so Sakura blew it, did she? And you've come to ask me out next, right? I _knew_ I wouldn't lose out to Billboard Brow!"

"Uh…" Sasuke was completely lost. Women like Ino more and more often seemed like they were living in an entirely separate time-space continuum to him. "I'm actually here for Shikamaru," he clarified. "Where is he?"

"Tsk, what do you want now, Sasuke?" Shikamaru's voice floated in from the hall. Sasuke turned to eye him suspiciously. "Not more adware I hope."

Sasuke felt the blood rushing to his face, his cheeks getting hotter, his heart racing faster. "Hn."

"You've been a real bother lately, you know that? You've really worked Naruto's panties into a bunch with that holier-than-thou attitude of yours." Shikamaru stepped into the computer lab and crossed his arms over his chest. "Why should I help you?"

"Shika… maru…" Sasuke turned back around to look at Ino, whose fists were clenched angrily at her sides. "Just who do you think you're lipping off to?" One of her eyebrows was twitching sporadically.

Shikamaru held up his hands defensively. "There you go again getting all worked up about this Sasuke character." He shook his head in exasperation. "Okay, fine. But as soon as Chouji gets here, you need to leave so we can get our own stuff done. I don't want to be here all day." He sat down at the large round table in the center of the computer lab and watched Ino do the same. "What a bother. Women are so troublesome." Sasuke silently sympathised.

"It's actually about yesterday's lab," Sasuke explained sheepishly. "I can't figure out this graphing stuff."

"Seriously?" Shikamaru rolled his eyes dramatically. "For the class genius you really suck with computers, Uchiha. You're as bad as Naruto." They both heard Ino's knuckles cracking, but couldn't bring themselves to look. "Okay, okay! Shikamaru rubbed at his eye sleepily with one hand while relocating to one of the school computers. He logged in with his one free hand. "Read me the processed data and I'll just make it for you. I don't have time to be teaching you all of this step by step." Sasuke pulled out his notebook and tossed it in the other boy's lap. "Oh, I see." Shikamaru ran a hand over the page. Every data table and graph needed was already carefully hand drawn. "A pencil and paper kinda guy. Even your math is done longhand. How… quaint."

 _As bad as Naruto?_ Sasuke struggled to even out his breathing. _Quaint?_ His shoulders twitched slightly in irritation. _No,_ he told his body. _Let it go. Let him finish this so you won't have to work on it with Sakura or Naruto later._

Sasuke wasted no time at all leaving once Shikamaru had emailed him the graph. He did, however, pause briefly to flash Ino an expressionless glance on his way out. Judging by her subsequent smile, she seemed to get the nonverbal message of gratitude. She waved him goodbye, unphased when the gesture was not returned.

X X X

" _Don't make eye contact, little brother," Itachi instructed. "Just keep walking."_

" _Homo pervert! You do it with your kid brother too, Uchiha?"_

Do what? _Sasuke didn't quite get it, but he figured that it had something to do with the pictures on Itachi's cell phone that he'd overheard their father scolding him about. He suddenly felt Itachi's hand gripping his upper arm very tightly. "Brother, that hurts," he whined. "Please let-"_

" _Walk," he commanded. Sasuke fell silent and did as he was told, wincing slightly at the pain in his arm._

X X X

The rest of the week had passed uneventfully. Sasuke was wasting his Saturday afternoon in downtown walking as slowly as he possibly could towards the designated meeting spot. After days of careful deliberation, he had decided to suffer through the date he'd promised Sakura. He had come to this decision for a few reasons. Mostly, he figured it might not be too late to fix his mistake with Naruto and Shikamaru. Taking Sakura on a date would act as a cover to dispel suspicions about his sexuality at school. Secondly, he didn't want his only competent lab partner to hate him. He'd only asked her on a date, not asked her to be his girlfriend or anything. He would man up to his mistake and take her on one little date to pacify her and keep the peace. _And last but not least,_ Sasuke thought to himself triumphantly, _this is really going to piss off Naruto._ The faintest of smiles tickled the corner of his mouth, but he willed it away knowing that Sakura would get the wrong idea if she saw it.

"Sasuke!" Sakura stood up from the park bench giddily. It was apparent that she had gone all out for their date. Her hair was curled into loose ringlets that made her already Barbie-esque pink hair even more closely resemble a wig. The wore an extremely short lacy turquoise dress that caused her breasts to smoosh together somewhat awkwardly.

Sasuke suddenly felt a little bit guilty for having justified the date in his mind for entirely selfish purposes. He thought about how Ino had helped him squeeze that bar graph out of Shikamaru earlier that week, and considered how Sakura was always trying to do similar things for him. He decided to add a fourth thing to his list of reasons for taking Sakura on a date: _because I owe it to her._

"Hn," he responded. "Let's get this over with." She smiled at him and forced out a small laugh that sounded more like a cough in execution, obviously misconstruing Sasuke's blunt honesty as an attempt at humor. Sasuke smirked. _It's more than a little pathetic, but she's really trying to make me like her. Too bad for her._ "You're hungry?"

"Yeah, sure," Sakura replied. "Are we going to a restaurant?" Sasuke just started walking towards their destination wordlessly. Sakura caught on without batting an eyelash and followed him eagerly. "Thank you, Sasuke, for taking me out." He felt her hand ever so slightly brush against his own and quickly shoved them both into his jacket pockets, rethinking the whole date thing in his mind for the millionth time. _It's too late to back out now._ He looked down at her apologetically for a fraction of a second, but she was busy fingering the lace on her dress and missed it.

Sakura was uncharacteristically quiet for the duration of their short walk. After they arrived at the little restaurant and took their seats, Sasuke watched as she stared down at the menu. Her eyes weren't moving at all, and Sasuke got the feeling that she wasn't actually reading it. He bit his bottom lip, wondering if he should just leave her alone: let them eat in silence then part ways and be done with it. "Is something wrong?" he finally asked her tentatively.

She looked up at him, surprised that he'd said anything. "Oh no, not at all!" She smiled. "I was just thinking about Naruto, is all."

Sasuke blinked. "Naruto?" _Damn it, even getting in the way of a pretend date, he still irritates me._ He frowned, thinking back to that pretentious grin that Naruto had given him in labs five days prior: the one that had caused Sasuke to panic and wind up on this date with Sakura in the first place.

"Don't get mad at me for saying this," she pleaded softly. She swallowed hard before continuing. "Are you just doing this because you hate Naruto? He really likes me - not to sound conceited or anything - and I don't want to make the dynamic of the lab group any weirder." She finally closed the menu and looked up at him. Their eyes met, and Sasuke could see tears welling up in hers. "I really like you Sasuke. I would do anything to be with you. I'm sure you already know that." Now it was Sasuke's turn to attempt to swallow the growing lump in his throat. "This just… doesn't seem real." There was a long silence between them. Eventually a waitress came to their table and asked if they were ready. "Not yet," Sakura told her, never taking her eyes off Sasuke's. The waitress left uncomfortably.

Finally, he spoke. "In part, yes. I'm not actually interested in going out with you." He felt that the least he could do for her was be somewhat honest, within reason. She continued to meet his gaze, even though tears were clearly welling up in her eyes. "I sort of asked you out by accident during a brief moment of panic." Sakura's tears were spilling over now, but she took no action to wipe them from her face. Sasuke wanted to look away from her, but forced himself to keep her gaze. "I came for a number of reasons, some of which are not your business. One of them, however, was simply because you deserve a nice date. Don't get any crazy ideas by what I'm saying. We will never be together, no matter what you do or say. But please, allow me to treat you to a meal."

She smiled at him, but Sasuke could see the obvious sadness behind it. "Thank you for being honest," she offered weakly. "But, just so you know, I won't back down." She finally squeezed her eyes shut and let her head fall forward. "Not like this."

After a few minutes, Sasuke waved their waitress over and told her to just bring them two orders of the most popular thing on the menu, which turned out to be a soup and salad combo. They ate in silence, and eventually Sakura stopped crying. Her makeup was rather smudged at this point though, and her eyes were red and puffy.

"Dessert?" Sasuke asked. She shook her head meekly. "Okay then." He pulled out his wallet and left what he approximated the tab would be plus a small tip on the table, then stood. "I'm going home now." She nodded, indicating that she understood, but remained seated. "Bye then." Sasuke walked back to his car and drove home, unsure whether he'd done her a kindness or a terrible blow.

X X X

" _Brother!" Sasuke banged on the door to their parents' bedroom frantically. "What's happening in there? Let me in!"_

 ** _BANG!_**

" _ITACHI!" Sasuke sank to his knees, still gripping the doorknob with both hands. "Mom… dad… What's going on?" He was crying so much that he could barely see at this point._

 _Click!_

 _Sasuke looked up at the knob and tentatively tried in once more. It turned slightly. He jumped to his feet and rotated the knob more forcefully, pushing on it with his shoulder. It flung open suddenly, and Sasuke fell forward into the dimly lit room. He caught himself on his hands and knees._

" _It's warm," he realized aloud. Sasuke leaned back on his heels and brought his hands closer to his face. "Is this…" He couldn't bring himself to say it._

" _Blood," a voice from somewhere deeper within the room said it for him. Sasuke squinted, trying to force his eyes to adjust to the darkness faster._

" _Big brother?" He stood up shakily, feeling that his knees would buckle beneath him if he tried to take a step. He wasn't sure what he was afraid of. It was just Itachi, who'd never laid a hand on him in his life. "Where are mom and dad?"_

" _They're right here," Itachi answered. His voice wasn't comforting. It was cold, bitter. "See for yourself." Sasuke heard his brother's footsteps moving towards him, and for some reason, this made him feel even more afraid. His legs gave out and he collapsed back onto the floor. The carpet made a wet squelching sound under his knees, causing him to suddenly feel extremely sick to his stomach. He brought a hand up to his mouth, anticipating that he was about to vomit._

 _He heard the light switch flick. For a moment, he thought it sounded like a gun cocking, and wondered if someone was about to shoot him. Then light washed over the room._

X X X

Sasuke placed a hand on the door to his parents' bedroom and closed his eyes. He'd been handling his return to the family home pretty well, all things considered, but he still hadn't opened this door since what happened. "Big Brother," he whispered softly, leaning forward to rest his forehead on the cold wood. "Why?"

It was the middle of night. Sasuke had been awoken by yet another dream about the night his family fell apart. _Not "fell apart,"_ he corrected himself. _They were ripped away from me by that psycho._ His hand tensed, and his fingers once again fell into the familiar scratch marks he'd made over the past three months.

 _Why, Itachi?_


	5. Coarse and Rugged

The weekend had come and gone too quickly. Sasuke's college applications were almost finished, the only thing left to do was to get a letter of recommendation from a teacher. He was leaning heavily towards asking his electives teacher for creative writing because he knew she adored his work, but that seemed silly considering he was applying to business schools. There was no one who could attest to his charisma or public speaking abilities, which was what he really needed in the letter, because honestly he had no talent in either of those things. He figured his best bet would be Anko, who only cared about his exceptional math scores and not his sulky personality.

"Hey, Sasuke," Sakura greeted him as she plopped down in the stool beside him. "Is Naruto here yet?"

"No, neither is Kakashi." He studied her face for a trace of what she had been like during their date. So far she was coming off as more calm than usual, but past that she seemed normal. "I was actually starting to wonder why he's been on time every day so far this year. Last year he was late almost every day."

She laughed softly. "I know, right?" Sasuke was relieved to see that she didn't completely hate him. It wasn't like he wanted them to become friends or anything, but he wanted to be able to work well with at least one other member of his lab group, and he was pretty sure that other person wasn't going to be Naruto.

"You and Naruto got the lab report turned in on time last week, right?" He'd completely forgotten to check up on it since forwarding the bar graph to them.

"Yeah, we handled it. It was a pretty simple lab."

"Hn." He gave her a small nod then turned his back to her to feel around in his bag for his lab book.

"Hey Sasuke, can I ask you a personal question?" Sasuke looked back towards her, but gave no indication as to whether or not he would answer said personal question. He didn't really like to talk about himself. He didn't really like to talk in general, actually. "You don't have to answer it if you don't want to," she added nervously. After a moment of silence in which Sasuke still gave no rejection or affirmation, she continued. "Is there someone else you like? Is that why?"

"No," he told her. "I'm not interested in that stuff. Girls don't interest me right now, I'm focused on my studies." That seemed like a fair answer to him - something that would get her off his back without revealing his secret, yet still wasn't entirely untrue.

There was a long silence between them. "Then," Sakura began tentatively, "do boys?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at her. "Do boys what?"

She blushed deeply. "Um… interest you?"

 _I'm going to violently murder that damn Uzumaki prick the next time I see him,_ Sasuke promised himself. _He won't live to see graduation._

"Sasuke, are you okay? I'm sorry if I upset you, I didn't mean anything by it. I'm sure I'm just making things up, because of course -"

"Just shut up," he commanded. "Shut your fucking mouth." He walked out as quickly as he could without accidentally jogging. He didn't even look back at her, he just took off down the hall, rounded the corner into the men's bathroom, and slammed the door of the closest stall shut behind him.

Sasuke sat on the toilet with his elbows resting on his knees and his head in his hands for a long while. It smelled terrible, but he didn't know where else to go. His car was all the way across campus, and he didn't feel like he could make it that far. He tugged at his own hair hard enough to feel a few individual strands pull out. It hurt, but the pain seemed to make him shake less violently. He almost felt like he wanted to cry, but no tears came. His eyes stung a little bit, but his face remained dry. He wasn't surprised. He hadn't shed tears since childhood. He figured he was just too angry to cry. He was angry at Naruto, but he was even more angry at himself. It was only a matter of time before the rumors spread, but his own reaction had truly sealed the deal. Whatever Naruto had told Sakura, he'd confirmed it by cursing at her and storming out. He hadn't even grabbed his messenger bag.

He felt around his body for his keys, and was relieved to find they were in his pants pocket. He also had his wallet and his phone on him, which was lucky. He decided to just head straight for the car when he left the bathroom and leave the school bag behind. It wasn't worth the effort. Besides, it had the Uchiha Corporation logo embroidered on the flap, and all his notebooks had his name on them, so someone would probably just bring it to the office. He could get it back later.

After about fifteen minutes, he finally rose to his feet and left the bathroom. He purposely looped around to the other side of the building and took the long way back to avoid passing by the lab room. He made it to his car without running into anyone he knew, and drove home uneventfully. Once there, he wasn't sure what do with himself. Take a nap? Violently smash things? Eat a snack? Send Naruto a threatening email? Start packing his things so he could promptly move away to a different town?

He ended up going upstairs for a shower. He turned the water temperature up much too high, and left it, letting it make his burning skin tingle. He didn't wash his hair or clean his body, he just stood beneath the spray entirely unsure about what he was going to do next.

Just as the hot water was starting to run out, the doorbell rang followed by a fit of violent knocking.

"Open up, Chickenshit Uchiha!" It was Naruto's voice - coarse and rugged. "I'm coming in whether you open this door or not, you better believe it!"

Sasuke sighed, and turned the water off. He dried himself quickly and wrapped the towel around his waist. He took a moment to make sure it was securely tucked in before leisurely making his way down the stairs and opening the front door.

Naruto's fist froze in the air, as he'd been in the middle of knocking. They watched each other for a moment cautiously. Then Naruto's clenched fist tightened, and his wrist rotated. Sasuke quickly recognized this small change as the transition from knocking to punching, and slammed the door shut just in time. Naruto's fist slammed into the heavy door. Sasuke, who had one hand on the knob and the other pressed flat against the wood, felt it tremble from the impact. He quickly turned the deadbolt and took a step back.

"Come out here and fight me, Sasuke! Stop cowering inside your fancy mansion!"

For a moment, Sasuke considered throwing on some pants and doing just that. He was in pretty good shape and could handle himself in a fight. Naruto, however, was an athlete, and he seemed really angry. Sasuke got the feeling that Naruto would really kick his ass if he opened the door to him.

"What's the meaning of this," he demanded through the door, though he already had a pretty good idea of what it was about.

"You know damn well what this is about, asshole. First you ask her out, then you break her heart, then you fucking treat her like shit to top it off?" Naruto sounded furious. He was practically screaming. "You don't deserve someone like her! I'll _never_ understand what she sees in you! All you want is a fucking dick in your ass, isn't that right?"

 _Moron, I have neighbors,_ Sasuke thought frantically. _I have to shut him up._

"A big, juicy fucking -"

Sasuke swung the door open without thinking. "For the love of God, shut -" Naruto's fist connected with Sasuke's face and sent him tumbling backwards. "Naruto, shut your fucking mouth!" he commanded, holding his nose with one hand and keeping his towel in place with the other.

"You're a real fucking piece of work, Sasuke."

"You don't know anything about me," Sasuke argued. "You have no idea what -"

"Save your breath," Naruto cut in. "I know all a-fucking-bout it. I grew up with two dads since age ten. I've seen how cruel close minded people can be first hand. _You're_ the one who doesn't know jack shit about _me,_ Sasuke. You've been preaching to the choir." He cracked his knuckles ominously. "I don't give a rat's ass who gets you hot and bothered," he continued, cracking the knuckles on the other hand. "It's Sakura that I care about." He took a step forward.

The sound of tires screeching outside distracted Naruto for a brief moment, and Sasuke took the opportunity to get on his feet and adjust the towel, ready to defend himself.

"Naruto, wait!" Sakura appeared in the doorway. Her eyes were red and swollen, and her voice sounded hoarse. It was obvious she'd recently been crying. "It's my own fault, please don't hurt him," she begged.

"But Sakura," Naruto began.

"Sasuke," she cut him off. "Sasuke, I'm so sorry! I promise I won't tell a soul, if that's what you want. I didn't even tell Naruto, he guessed. Or he already knew, I'm not sure."

"Damn it, Sakura, just let me teach him a lesson!"

"No!" Sakura's voice cracked as the tears started flowing again. She sniffled and wiped her nose on the back of her forearm. "Leave him alone, Naruto."

Naruto went over to her and placed a hand on either shoulder. "Whatever you want, Sakura. You're the one he hurt."

"Tsk." Sasuke rose to his feet and headed back up the stairs. He locked the door to his room while he quickly dressed. Even from upstairs he could hear Sakura sobbing hysterically into Naruto's arms. He felt a twinge of jealousy. Sasuke hadn't had someone who could be there for him like that since his older brother had snapped. He'd been completely alone for over half his life. He sat on his bed, unsure whether he should go downstairs or wait it out until they left.

Before he could make up his mind, the door downstairs shut. He heard a car engine start, then drive away. Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose between his eyes and held his breath for a moment. Silence. _I guess it's safe to go down now,_ he figured.

He descended the steps cautiously, as if Naruto was going to pop out from behind something at any moment and punch him in the face again. He shook his head to dispel the nonsense in his mind and went over to the front door to lock the deadbolt again.

"We need to talk." Sasuke spun around so fast he almost lost his balance. He reached a hand back to steady himself on the door and looked up at Naruto, who was standing defiantly with his hands on his hips. "All this bullshit has to stop."

"There's nothing to talk about," Sasuke insisted, cursing himself for forgetting that Naruto and Sakura had arrived in separate cars. "Get out of my fucking house."

"I'm not going anywhere until you admit you're gay so we can all just stop worrying about it."

"Fuck you," Sasuke retorted, feeling extremely unoriginal. He blamed the blow to the head.

"Not interested," Naruto answered. "I'm not into chickenshit closet gays."

Sasuke grit his teeth. "Stop fucking mocking me, Uzumaki. Like I said before, you don't understand anything about me." He unlocked the deadbolt again and sidestepped away from the door. "Leave."

"Get over yourself," Naruto repeated, walking towards him. "It's not that big of a deal." He grabbed the front of Sasuke's shirt and leaned in.

"Get the fuck off me, you -" Sasuke was interrupted by Naruto's lips against his. He attempted to turn his head away but Naruto's hands reached up to hold his face in place. Sasuke felt the other boy bite down hard on his bottom lip and brought his hands up the claw Naruto's off, but it wasn't working. Then he felt Naruto's warm tongue slide along his bottom lip. The tingling sensation zipped through his entire body, down the nape of his neck, his spine, and finally through his right leg which came up between them to kick Naruto's body away.

Naruto stumbled backwards, clenching his abdomen where he'd been kicked. Then without a word from either of them, he left through the front door, slamming it violently behind himself.

Sasuke rushed to once again lock the deadbolt as well as the knob lock this time, then slid down the door onto his knees.

 _What… even just happened… just now?_


	6. Exciting

It was barely past four o'clock in the afternoon, and school had been out for a short while. Against his better judgement, Sasuke had stayed home and slept in. There was simply too much on his mind already, and he felt like he would be unable to cram any more of Naruto's shenanigans into his brain without doing some sort of permanent psychological damage to himself.

He'd been planning to catch Gaara after school before he went home, but was now reconsidering it. If he was going to call, he'd have to do it right away before Gaara drove all the way back to his house in Sunagakure, since he would no doubt refuse to drive the long distance back just for Sasuke's sake.

Gaara had been expelled from Suna High his freshman year for nearly killing a classmate who'd teased him, and thus had no choice but to make the long commute to Konoha. They had met through Gaara's older sister Temari, who Sasuke had tried to date as a heterosexual cover earlier that year. He hadn't expected her to be so intuitive, though, and it only took her two weeks to figure out the truth. Sasuke hadn't freaked out about it because they didn't attend the same school or even live in the same town. It wasn't until Gaara transferred to Konoha that he'd become worried, but Gaara made it pretty clear that he didn't give a rat's ass about it. He and Sasuke weren't particularly close by any stretch, but sometimes they made plans to occupy and the same room together, make halfhearted small talk and watch television. That suited them both just fine. Until recently, Gaara had been the only other person in Konoha who knew about Sasuke's sexuality. This made him somewhat comforting for Sasuke to be around. It gave him some hope of being able to live a normal life somewhere else after high school.

He pulled out his phone and sent a text message to his redheaded kinda-sorta-friend. It read, "I have the new Game of Thrones season on disk, are you busy?"

He dropped the phone into his back pocket and walked to the sliding glass door that led into the backyard. It was very wet outside, even though the rain was hardly more than a sprinkle. Sasuke figured it must've been raining off and on all day, and he'd just never bothered to look outside until that moment. The two swings shuddered in the wind. They reminded Sasuke of dogs shaking water from their fur, or people shivering in the cold. He felt like he was cheating nature by staying indoors, warm and dry with his clothes and central heating. He thought of all the wild creatures hiding under hollow logs or in damp caves to escape the cold, and placed a palm on the icy glass. It was so cold that it felt like his hand was burning, but he didn't pull away.

The cell phone vibrated gently in Sasuke's back pocket. He took his hand off the glass door and wiped away the condensation on his pants before reaching for his phone. "Be there in 5," read Gaara's text message. Sasuke put his phone back into his pocket without responding and continued to watch the rainwater pour from the seats of the swings like miniature waterfalls until a knock came at the door.

That was fast, he thought, feeling like it had definitely been less than two minutes. He opened the door. "Hey Gaa - Sakura?" He blinked a few times to make sure he wasn't just going color blind for some mysterious reason and mistaking Gaara's bright red hair as pink.

"Oh, I can leave if you're expecting someone," Sakura offered.

"No, no," Sasuke rubbed his eyes, feeling more than a little bit disoriented. "What is it?"

She smiled awkwardly. "I don't suppose I could come in, if it's not too much trouble. It's pretty cold out here." Sasuke stepped to the side to make way for her. She got the hint and came in. "Thank you." She bent over to remove her shoes and neatly placed them to the side as Sasuke moved around her to close the door. "It's about the lab we all missed yesterday."

Sasuke was relieved to know she hadn't come to his house to hang out or talk about uncomfortable personal stuff. He really didn't want her to think that she could come by whenever she felt like it just because she'd barged into his house once before. "What about it," he asked?

"Kakashi said it would be okay to get the raw data from another group as long as we do everything else ourselves, but he's knocking off ten percent from the grade for this lab because we all pretty much ditched class," she paused and stared down at her feet for a few moment before continuing. "I'm sorry, I feel like it was my fault for bringing up personal things in class. Anyways, Lee was kind enough to give me his group's data, and I already processed it. Naruto can do the rest by himself, if you want to sit this one out."

"We can't let Naruto do the rest by himself. He's terrible at science, and we're already losing ten percent," Sasuke explained. "And I'm not broken." He felt rather irritated by Sakura's offer to let him off the hook in terms of work. He wasn't moping, he just took a personal day. It wasn't like he'd ceased to function properly just because Naruto was grinding his gears. "You don't have to do everything for me. I'll help Naruto, don't worry about it."

"Okay, it's up to you." She brought a hand up to twirl her finger around a lock of hair.

Another knock sounded at the door. Sasuke let Gaara inside and stood back to watch Sakura's reaction. In a way, Gaara was sort of famous around school for almost killing that Suna kid three years ago. By the way Sakura's body tensed, Sasuke could tell that she recognized him.

"Sakura, this is Gaara. Gaara, Sakura Haruno." Sasuke wasn't used to having so many people in his house, or introducing people. He wasn't exactly a social butterfly.

Gaara, unsurprisingly, wasn't much of one either. "Um, hi Gaara," Sakura greeted him tentatively.

He just squinted at her, not understanding what such a preppy girl was doing in Sasuke's house. "Please tell me this isn't Temari two-point-o," he sighed.

"No, it's school related," Sasuke explained.

"Bye then." Sakura gave him a small wave before shoving her feet into her shoes and darting out the door without bothering to tie them.

 _It's her own fault for showing up unannounced_ , Sasuke thought to himself with a shrug.

"So what's the big emergency?" Gaara asked, getting straight to the point. He slipped his jacket from his shoulders and brought it to the dining room table, where he hung it on the back of a chair to dry.

"It's nothing like that, I've just been waiting for you to watch this season since we watched the rest of it together."

"Whatever you say." Gaara wasn't convinced, but he sat down on the couch anyways. "Let's do it."

Sasuke put the first CD in the DVD player and took a seat on the other end of the couch. He spent the opening theme song sneaking glances at Gaara's exposed arms. They were covered in horizontal cuts from wrist to elbow.

"If you want to look at them, just ask," Gaara scowled.

"There are more since the last time we hung out," Sasuke observed, looking back towards the television now.

"That was like three months ago when you first moved into this place." He brought a hand up to scratch gently at the scars and scabs. "You've still never done it?"

"No," Sasuke answered.

"Well, I don't recommend it. It just draws attention," Gaara advised with a heavy sigh. "People start thinking you're going to off yourself or something, and you end up going in and out of the looney bin."

"Sounds like a pain," Sasuke offered, not really sure what to say.

"Oh that reminds me," Gaara continued, bringing his legs up to sit cross legged. "My sister made me go to that prison slash psychiatric hospital over in Amegakure, you know, to scare me straight or something."

Sasuke tensed. _He doesn't mean…_

"I saw your brother there," Gaara continued, still scratching his arm leisurely.

 _...Akatsuki Psychiatric Institution._ Sasuke had never visited his brother, even before he'd been transferred to what his social worker used to call "the big-boy's nut house" at age eighteen. He'd thought about going many times, but had never made the call or the trip. He had already decided years ago that his brother didn't deserve any support from him.

"He seemed to be doing okay, or at least doing better than a lot of the people there. He was in the low-security ward, which means he hasn't been doing anything violent, at the very least." It was the first time Sasuke had ever heard Gaara try to sound comforting.

Sasuke hadn't asked and hadn't intended to ask, but he was still somewhat relieved to know that his brother wasn't gagged and chained to a wall in some creepy dungeon or something. Sometimes he still felt a little bit guilty for not spending the extra money to have him sent somewhere better. He knew that Itachi wasn't right in the head, but still, Sasuke had never been able to feel understanding towards the man who'd murdered his parents - their parents. That didn't seem possible to him.

"How's Temari been?" Sasuke asked, trying to turn the subject of conversation around.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. Time for a subject change," Gaara responded, rolling his neck. Sasuke heard it crack twice. "She's been doing good, dating this really smart kid named Shikamaru."

"Shikamaru?" Sasuke recalled sympathising with him about how women were a pain, and had to appreciate the irony of them both dating the same girl. "We have biology together. We were in an advanced math class together for awhile too, I think, last year. I didn't know his name at the time though."

"Small world," Gaara commented. They watched the show in silence for awhile. Sasuke hadn't been paying attention up until this point, so he didn't really know the context of the situation, but people were hacking each other up with swords and he felt adequately entertained until Gaara spoke again. "You should go and see him."

"No thanks," Sasuke responded coldly. "And I didn't invite you over to talk about my twisted brother."

"To talk about Naruto, than?" Sasuke flinched. This guy was really starting to get on his nerves, and he was regretting ever inviting him over. "Hey, you only ever want to hang out when there's something wrong with you, so I'm just trying to get to the point here."

 _I guess that's true_ , Sasuke admitted to himself, though he didn't really care. Gaara wasn't the kind of person to get all butt-hurt about something like that. He always expected the worst of people, which was probably why he could read Sasuke so well. "There's nothing going on with Naruto," Sasuke insisted. "He's my idiotic lab partner who can't do anything by himself. Of course he's been getting under my skin. I mean, who punches someone in the face, then kisses them, and then just leaves? He's a total weirdo."

Gaara stopped scratching and turned towards Sasuke. "Okay, pause," Gaara commanded.

 _Ah crap, I didn't mean to get all whiny and start blurting stuff out._ Sasuke mentally facepalmed.

"Did you like it?" Gaara asked.

Sasuke facepalmed for real this time. Honestly, he hadn't considered that enjoying the kiss was even a possibility. The question had never crossed his mind until Gaara brought it up. He had just assumed that there was no way he could have liked it simply because it had been Naruto's kiss. In retrospect, it had been pretty exciting, for lack of a better word on Sasuke's part. He'd never kissed anyone else, so it was hard to say whether or not it was enjoyable without something to compare it to. "Will you just shut up and watch the show?"

"Hey, you're the one who brought up the kissing," Gaara pointed out, tossing his hands up defensively. "I'm just a curious bystander."

"Who'd ever like kissing a guy like that?" Sasuke asked incredulously. "He's beyond obnoxious."

"Oh? You're blushing, Sasuke. That's a new look for you," Gaara told him with a smirk.

"You're a fucking asshole."

"Yeah, I know," Gaara learned his head back and closed his eyes. "That's why you're friends with me. You hate nice people. They make you uncomfortable because you yourself suck at being nice."

"What are you, my shrink?"

"Tsk. Don't insult me," he growled.

"This is why I never invite you over," Sasuke explained.

"Oh, I know." Gaara seemed rather pleased with himself for getting Sasuke worked up. "You have ice cream, right?"

"I don't like sweets."

"You're a pathetic binge TV marathon host," Gaara told him.

"Then buy the damn season yourself."


	7. Like Summer

Sasuke came to school early to check the office for his messenger bag, which he'd left in class two days prior, but did not find it there. He still had over twenty minutes, but figured he might as well go to class early and at the very least get the seat he liked.

It didn't occur to him that the classroom was probably still locked until he was already standing in front of the door. He figured it wouldn't hurt to try and was reaching for the doorknob when he heard a voice from inside and instinctively paused.

" _Please_ , Kakashi. You have to change the lab groups." It was Naruto's voice. Sasuke wasn't at all surprised to hear that he wanted the groups changed.

He was just about to open the door and agree with Naruto for once when Kakashi's next words caused him to pause again. "I can't make exceptions just because you're my son."

 _Son?_ Sasuke tried to recall an instance when Naruto had called Kakashi "dad," but couldn't think of one. Besides, they looked absolutely nothing alike.

"Awe, come on. Iruka did stuff like that for me all the time when _he_ was my teacher," Naruto pleaded.

Then it clicked in Sasuke's brain.

" _Save your breath," Naruto cut in. "I know all a-fucking-bout it. I grew up with two dads since age ten. I've seen how cruel close minded people can be first hand. You're the one who doesn't know jack shit about_ me _, Sasuke. You've been preaching to the choir."_

Naruto's explanation about having two dads hadn't really clicked before, but now it all made perfect sense. Naruto had two gay dads! He felt extremely stupid for not realizing it earlier, but the details were still quite open ended. Naruto had specified that he'd had two dads since age ten. Had they adopted him? Had his biological parents died, like Sasuke's had? Or was one of them his biological father who had married a man when Naruto was ten? He supposed there was still the possibility of either Kakashi or the other father being a step-dad, married to Naruto's mom, but then why would having two dads in that respect have come up during their altercation on Monday? _Maybe Naruto and I have more in common than I'd thought._

Sasuke needed more time to think. He was just about to turn around and go back the way he'd come when the door in front of him suddenly opened. "Sasuke?"

"Oh, uh… Mr. Kakashi," Sasuke stammered, feeling extremely awkward about having been caught listening in, even if he hadn't meant to. "I didn't hear anything."

"If you hadn't heard anything, you wouldn't have said anything," Kakashi pointed out.

 _I'm such an idiot,_ Sasuke thought to himself pathetically. _That was like Naruto's level of stupid. I give up._ "Whatever," he sighed. "Do you have my messenger bag?"

"Yes, actually," Kakashi stepped back, holding the door open for Sasuke. "Come inside."

Sasuke complied and glanced around the room until his eyes caught Naruto's. They watched each other intently while Kakashi went to his desk and picked up the messenger bag hiding behind it.

"This is it, right?"

"That's it," he confirmed, walking cautiously towards his teacher who was standing too close to Naruto for Sasuke's comfort. He had no idea what the blond was thinking, or what - if anything - he intended to do. "Thanks." He snatched the strap quickly and retreated back towards the door. "I guess I'll come back in like ten minutes, then."

He started to turn away from them, but Naruto's voice once again caused him to instinctively pause. "Wait," he called softly from across the room. "Let me walk with you."

Sasuke said nothing and continued on his way. Naruto ran to catch up with him, then allowed their strides to fall in pace with each other. "I'm not offended that you want to switch lab groups," Sasuke finally told him. "I was actually about to go in there and back you up."

"I know," Naruto replied. "It's not about that." Sasuke said nothing and waited for the other boy to continue, thinking it might just be a stupid question about the lab report. "It's about Monday."

 _I so do not want to do this,_ Sasuke whined to himself. _Can't we just forget about it?_

"I'm sorry I tried to force you to open up," Naruto said slowly, trying to choose his words meticulously. "In my mind, I was trying to help you. But when you didn't show up at school yesterday, I started to feel really bad about it. I figured that since you didn't want me as a lab partner from the get go, you probably _really_ don't want me now." Naruto shoved his hands in his pockets, still not looking directly at Sasuke. "Not that I particularly like being partnered with you, either."

Sasuke wasn't sure how to respond. He hadn't planned on the two of them having some weird, intimate talk about what happened. He just figured it would be uncomfortable for a day or two and then they would silently get over it and go back to normal. "Just forget about," he finally told him. "I don't care."

"Well, I care," Naruto blurted out. "I mean, it was kind of a big deal for me, being my first kiss and all."

Sasuke stopped walking. He hadn't expected that at all. Sure it had been Sasuke's first kiss too, but there was a reason for that. Naruto, however, had the option of kissing girls. He had so many friends and was so charismatic, surely it couldn't be true that he'd _never_ kissed anyone.

"Seriously?" Sasuke asked. He was tempted to add something else. "What a loser" or "how pathetic" both seemed viable, but the words just waited in his throat without coming up.

"Yeah," Naruto confirmed, scratching the back of his head. "Seriously." It was hard to tell over Naruto's tanned skin, but it seemed like he was starting to blush.

"Actually," Sasuke began. He hesitated, unsure whether or not he wanted to finish what he was saying. "Me too."

Naruto laughed softly. "Well, yeah I kinda figured, what with your situation at all."

Sasuke glared furiously at him.

"Sorry! I didn't mean it like that," Naruto assured him. "I just mean that, well, I get it. I was totally out of line and I'm sorry."

Sasuke appreciated the apology, but the direction of the conversation was starting to make him uneasy. It was too personal. "We have like ten minutes left, do you want to work on that lab report?"

"Huh?" Naruto blinked. "The lab… oh yeah! I already did it, don't worry about it."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at him. "Maybe I should proof read it."

Naruto rolled his eyes dramatically. "Yeah, yeah, I get it. I suck at science. I'll email it to you later. I need to go do something before class." Sasuke said nothing while he waiting for the other boy to take his leave. He watched his face intently, noticing for the first time what looked like scratch marks on his cheeks. They were barely noticeable, just three thin lines on each side. Sasuke found them to be reminiscent of whiskers. "Look, Sasuke," Naruto continued softly. There was another drawn out silence. "Nevermind."

Sasuke watched him walk down the hall and disappear into the men's restroom, then turned back towards the classroom. He took his usual seat in the back and watched the rain splash against the windowpane, trying to ignore the unsettling feeling of Kakashi's eyes watching him. He checked his phone for the time. _Ten more minutes_.

People started trickling in. First Chouji, then Kiba, then Hinata who took the window seat in front of Sasuke. She rotated in her seat to look back at him. "Hello, Sasuke," she greeted.

"Hey," he replied. She turned back around and that was that.

Naruto returned, and their eyes met. Sasuke wondered if the other boy was going to sit down at the desk next to his, but Naruto broke their eye contact quickly and sat by Kiba, who gave him a playful punch to the upper arm. Naruto returned it affectionately and swung his orange and black backpack onto the desk to rummage through it.

Sasuke watched him intently, thinking about how obnoxiously bright and cheery Naruto's clothes always were. He wore orange nearly every day. Sasuke hated orange almost as much as he hated yellow. He looked down at his own clothes: entirely black and dark navy. Naruto was like summer: bright and comforting to be around. _Bright in the cheery sense,_ Sasuke added. _Not the academic sense._ He smirked, thinking that Naruto's perpetually messy hair reminded him of the sun, the way it stuck out in every direction like rays of warm light.

Sasuke himself was more like winter in his mind. He was cold towards everyone, even when he was making an effort to be nice. He liked rain and cold whether a lot, too, though he knew it was irrational to enjoy something that was physically uncomfortable to be in. He placed a palm on the freezing windowpane like he had done at home the previous day and watched his pale fingers turn a soft shade of pink from the cold. The tingling sensation in his hand faintly reminded him of how Naruto's kiss had made his lips tingle. It didn't make sense, though, because the window was icy and the kiss had been so… warm. Like summer.

X X X

Sasuke wasn't feeling very hungry, so he had decided to use his lunch break to ask his math teacher from the previous year for a letter of recommendation. He had found her office door ajar and was now standing in the small room alone. _Should I leave a note or something, or just come back later?_ he wondered. The place was in a state of complete disarray. Candy wrappers and sheets of paper covered every surface, the floor included. _She would never find my note in here,_ he realized. _It's no wonder she was always losing our worksheets without grading them last year._

He let out a loud "tsk" and left the office. _Aren't the teacher's supposed to lock their offices when they're not there?_ He look back through the door over his shoulder. _I suppose no one would be foolhardy enough to brave that cesspool just for some measly test answers,_ he figured. Sasuke shrugged and continued on his way, leaving the door ajar just as he had found it. _It's unfitting that someone like Anko with such a head for mathematics is actually a very disorganized person._

X X X

Sasuke was sitting cross legged on his bed with the laptop resting on his knees. Naruto had emailed him the complete lab report and he was reading it over.

It wasn't as terrible as he had expected it to be. It was mostly just riddled with spelling mistakes, and Naruto's interpretation of the data had been alright. Not great, but alright.

Sasuke made the necessary changes and emailed it back to Sakura. She liked to be the one to print their reports and turn them in herself. Sasuke didn't even have a printer at his house, and he trusted Sakura to remember, so he was fine with that system.

He put the laptop away and grabbed his journal out of his bag. He hadn't written in it at all since moving back to his childhood home. He didn't consider it a diary, like something girls kept to document their every emotion, crush or romantic encounter. It was more of a therapy. A counselor had suggested keeping a journal years ago, and the habit had simply stuck. He had a pretty big collection of filled journals tucked in his closet. He never read them yet he still had always felt compelled to keep them around. They mostly contained documentation of his dreams, usually in written form but sometimes as drawings as well. He didn't consider himself much of an artist but it wasn't like anyone else ever saw them.

His current journal was about halfway filled. The pages were blank, as opposed to the usual lined journals he usually chose. He found that this resulted in a lot more drawings than usual. He flicked through them casually, letting various drawings remind him of the misery he often experienced while sleeping. Most of them depicted eyes. Sometimes, when a colored marker or pencil was available, he would make them red and detail them with small black designs in the irises. In his dreams, Itachi's eyes almost always appeared this way, though in reality his brother's eyes were onyx, just like Sasuke's.

He stopped at the next blank page and twirled his pen around his fingers, considering what to write. Nothing came to mind. The dreams had been coming less frequently lately - probably because all the nonsense with Naruto had been distracting him - so he didn't feel inclined to write about that. He thought about his day in search of inspiration: the rainy whether, Anko's disastrous office, Hinata's greeting.

He got the colored pencils from his desk drawer and drew an orange sun overlayed with some swirly, whimsical design in black ink. In the end he decided that the fluorescent orange and interconnecting spirals made it too hard to look at without feeling dizzy, but ripping out pages tended to result in other pages unintentionally falling out later, so he left it, and turned the page to write about the swings in the backyard.


	8. A Little Closer

Sasuke opened his eyes drearily. The room was mostly dark save for a single streak of light that burst from the crack between the curtains and spread across the room. He rolled away from the window and pulled the blanket over his head, trying to get back to sleep.

After a few minutes he started to feel hungry and gave up with an irritated groan. He sat up groggily and rubbed the sleep from his eyes before sliding off the bed. He half expected his feet to meet cold hardwood before remembering that he wasn't living with his old foster family anymore. He gripped the carpet with his toes, stood up, stretched lazily, and pulled some sweatpants on before leaving the room. He ran a hand over the scratch marks on the door to his parents' bedroom as he passed it, but didn't stop walking.

Once down the stairs, he went about preparing some scrambled eggs and potatoes with tomato and avocado, complete with coffee and toast. He had been really into toasting things ever since getting an actual toaster, and was now in the habit of eating something toasted with nearly every meal he made at home.

He positioned himself at the dining room table in a spot that enabled him to look outside through the sliding glass door. The weather was nicer than it had been in weeks. The grass looked overgrown and happy, and Sasuke wondered if he should bother cutting it. He ate his food quickly. Normally he didn't like to eat immediately after getting out of bed but he had skipped dinner the previous night and the current day was already well into the afternoon, so this Saturday was an exception to his regular breakfast habits - or rather the lack thereof.

He went over the list of annoying stuff he had to do that day in his mind while he tidied up the kitchen: laundry, buy more milk at the store, finish that history paper, more laundry, change the bedsheets, vacuum, put away the laundry, stop changing clothes so often…

He dried his hands on the dish towel and went outside to check the mail. It was chilly outside, but he could still feel the warmth of the sun on his bare shoulders through the cold. He needed both hands to carry all the junk mail inside. He tossed it onto the dining table and started sorting through it. Newspapers, advertisements, coupons, et cetera.

He was about to just toss the whole lot of it into the paper recycling when a hand addressed letter caught his eye. The handwriting was beautiful, almost calligraphic. His eyes wandered to the return address and he was surprised to see that it was from the Akatsuki Psychiatric Institution. He had only received mail from them twice in his life, and both times had simply been because he was next of kin. The first time had been the transfer notice when Itachi had turned eighteen. The second time had been a notice of personal injury to inform him that another patient had smashed a chair over his brother's head. Sasuke hadn't been able to bring himself to visit him in the facility's hospital.

What made this particular letter stand apart was the handwritten address. The envelope with the factory printed return address was familiar, but usually his name and address were printed onto a sticker which was pasted to the envelope. This letter seemed more personal than the previous two. He turned it over a few times in his hands, then sat down at the table.

After a tentative pause, he opened the envelope and peeked inside. It appeared to be a folded up piece of lined paper, most likely a handwritten letter. He paused to think about what this might mean. Maybe something serious happened and the superintendent had written to him personally? That seemed highly improbable, but the only other possibility he could think of was that his brother had written to him directly, and that wasn't something Sasuke was ready for. That wasn't something Sasuke felt he would _ever_ be ready for.

He set the envelope on the table and leaned back in his chair, running both hands through his raven hair anxiously. _Do I read it or throw it away?_ he asked himself _._ Whether Itachi's aim was to inflict further damage, apologize profusely or just say hi, it didn't matter to Sasuke. There was nothing that his brother could possibly write in a letter that would make him feel any worse or any better. It had been so long and he'd thought about it so many times that Sasuke's feeling towards the subject were essentially set it stone.

He ended up putting the letter in his bedroom closet with his old journals until he could make up his mind. He showered, dressed, styled his hair into it's usual arrangement, grabbed a few shopping bags out of the closet and drove to the grocery store.

Sasuke checked off his mental shopping list as he went. _Milk, shampoo, bagels, cream cheese… fucking laundry detergent._ He groaned at the thought of folding laundry.

"Yo, Sasuke!" He didn't have to look to know it was Naruto. The guy had a pretty distinct voice. "What are you up to?" Sasuke turned to look at the blond classmate standing beside him and raised an eyebrow. "What?" Naruto asked. Sasuke struggled to raise his highbrow higher but was reaching his maximum eyebrow raising height. "Dude, what's your problem?"

Sasuke sighed. "What do you _think_ I'm doing here, Naruto? It's a store. I'm shopping."

Naruto gave him an over-the-top eye roll. "I mean _today,_ like after shopping," he clarified.

"Hn," Sasuke responded, feeling like a jerk but not wanting to admit it.

"Whatever, see you Monday." Naruto turned to walk away.

Sasuke shifted his weight and adjusted the shopping basket on his arm uncomfortably. "I don't have any plans, if that's what you mean."

Naruto turned back towards him looking somewhat confused. "Did you want to like hang out or something?"

That wasn't what he'd meant, he was just trying to be polite and answer the question. Under any other circumstances he would have said no, but the thought of going back home and pacing around trying to make a decision about the letter wasn't exactly appealing. "Sure."

Naruto looked genuinely surprised. "I was just about to go home and binge watch some anime," he said. "My place is kinda messy right now but you're welcome to come."

It seemed to Sasuke that Naruto wasn't actually interested in them spending time together, and frankly, neither was Sasuke. He just hadn't wanted to go home. "I wouldn't want to impose," he said. "Don't worry about it."

Naruto slapped him heartily on the back and said, "nonsense, I insist!" Sasuke, taken by surprise, had to catch himself by clasping Naruto's shoulder. He quickly yanked his hand away. "We don't even have to watch anime, that's just what I was going to do by myself." He flashed a brilliant smile. "I'm up for anything!"

Sasuke complied. They both checked out and Sasuke followed Naruto's car to the blond's house. Sasuke parked on the street when he saw the other car pull into a driveway. The house was midsized. He guessed it probably had two or maybe three bedrooms. It was painted a charming greyish blue color and had a small front porch with a bench overlooking the front yard, which was mostly just gravel driveway and shrubs. There wasn't much a lawn.

When he got out of the car, he suddenly remembered that Naruto and Kakashi lived together. He was tempted to get back in the car and drive straight home before Kakashi saw him there, but then Naruto waved him over and he figured it was probably too late to try and pull that. He followed Naruto up to the front door and cautiously poked his head inside before entering. No Kakashi yet. He saw Naruto taking his shoes off and followed suit, placing his boots on the little shoe rack beside the door. _I should really get one of these,_ he thought, envisioning the little pile of shoes by his own front door.

"Iruka, you home?" Naruto called.

"In the kitchen!" a voice called back.

"Come on Sasuke," he instructed. Sasuke closed the front door and followed Naruto into the kitchen. "I brought a, uh, _person_ home."

Sasuke couldn't help but snort at his obvious avoidance of the word 'friend.'

"You're lucky I cleaned up the house today," the man said, pulling Naruto in for a side hug. He smiled at Sasuke. "Iruka Umino. Nice to meet you." The guy had fairly dark skin and brunette hair. He looked almost Middle Eastern in skin tone and facial structure. There was a thick scar across the bridge of his nose which Sasuke wondered about absentmindedly.

"Sasuke Uchiha," he replied.

"Oh, so _this_ is Sasuke." Iruka gave him a visual onceover. "I didn't think you two were friends."

Sasuke blinked and looked towards Naruto for some sort of explanation. Naruto looked away from him sheepishly. _What the heck?_

"Anyways, my room's this way," Naruto said, pulling away from Iruka. "Down the hall." Sasuke followed him to the last door on the left.

"He knows about me?" Sasuke stood awkwardly in the middle of the room.

"Ah, well, he likes it when Kakashi tells him about my school life and stuff like that. Iruka used to be my teacher too, when I was a kid. That's how we met actually, and why I got adopted." Naruto rolled his neck. "What are your parents like?"

Sasuke flinched. It was an innocent question. It wasn't Naruto's fault for not knowing. "I never got adopted, just got tossed around between foster families," he replied honestly.

"Oh." Naruto put a hand over his face. "Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry."

"It's whatever," Sasuke assured him. "I live on my own now. I inherited that house from my parents." Naruto looked like he was itching to ask more questions about it, but he kept his mouth shut. Sasuke was relieved. He hadn't come here to dig up the worst moments of his life, he'd come to distract himself from them.

"So, what shall we watch? I was going to watch Durarara, but I'm half a season in. I wouldn't mind starting over though, if that's what you want to watch." Naruto sat down at his desktop and booted it up.

"Uh, sorry I don't know what that is," Sasuke admitted.

"It's a bit confusing but it's actually a pretty good anime," he responded.

"Anime?"

Naruto swiveled the chair around to face him. "You're kidding, right?"

"It don't watch a lot of television," Sasuke explained. "Just Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead, really."

Naruto stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Well, do you want to try Durarara? It's just a show that's animated and from Japan. That's anime in a nutshell."

"Sure, I guess." Sasuke wasn't really into cartoons, but he'd give it a try. The only exception of course being Daria, which he had enjoyed immensely. He took a seat on the twin size bed and leaned back against the wall it was pushed up against.

A knock came at the bedroom door, and it opened before anyone answered it. For a split second, Sasuke thought it would be Kakashi and reflexively tensed up. "Sasuke, did you leave a bag of groceries by the front door?" It was Iruka.

"I did," Sasuke answered, forcing his shoulders to relax. "Sorry, I meant to leave it in your fridge for a while." He leaned forward, preparing to stand up and do just that.

"I'll take care of it," he insisted, and disappeared.

Sasuke leaned back again and watched Naruto search online for the show. He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He very rarely spent time in other people's bedrooms. The walls were cobalt blue, which caused the room to look like a ten year old boy's. The comforter on the bed was decorated with innumerable tiny cartoon foxes. Some of them were sitting on their hind legs licking a paw like a cat, others appeared to be leaping in midair, and others were curled up in furry balls of slumber.

"All right, here we go," Naruto said, standing up and looking towards Sasuke. "You don't mind subtitles, right?"

"I'm used to them, I actually watch a lot of foreign movies," Sasuke answered without taking his eyes off the comforter littered with little foxes.

Naruto plopped down beside him. "Well aren't you the hipster."

"I take offense to that," Sasuke assured him.

"Hipsters always take offense to being called hipsters," Naruto pointed out cooly.

Sasuke had no response so he gave a quiet "hn." He let his knees fall outwards so he was sitting cross legged, starting to feel more comfortable in Naruto's room than he had at first. Their playful bickering felt a lot more normal than whatever polite dance they had been doing before.

They watched the show in relative silence, though Naruto would occasionally make comments about characters he strongly liked or disliked. After the first episode, Naruto got up to start the second one and skip the musical introduction portion. Sasuke noticed that he sat back down a little closer to him than he'd been during the first episode.


	9. Childish Behavior

Sasuke wasn't sure where to place his left hand.

Naruto had fallen asleep at some while they watched Durarara. He had started off with his head leaned back against the wall, which had resulted in some seriously obnoxious snoring. Right when Sasuke had been about to quietly make his escape, a head of tangled blond hair fell onto his shoulder, them eventually slid down his chest and onto his lap.

Sasuke was now essentially trapped there as Naruto's lap pillow. His right hand was on the bed but there was nowhere he could rest his left hand that wasn't somehow on Naruto, so he just held it up, hovering above Naruto's body.

The window curtains were pulled back, and Sasuke could see the sky darkening outside. The room was getting darker too, and he realized for the first time that the light hadn't been on. It had just been natural light from the window.

Sasuke's arm was really starting to feel sore, so he finally gave in and brought it down to rest on Naruto's waist. He was not at all surprised that Naruto's body felt rock solid under his black T-shirt. He had always been into sports. Sasuke figured that even without the athleticism, being so hyper all the time had to result in burning lots of calories, or something to that effect. Sasuke wasn't really familiar with all that health stuff. It wasn't something he paid much attention to.

He took a deep breath that bordered on a sigh, and couldn't help but notice that the boy sleeping on his lap actually smelled really pleasant. It was hard not to notice when he was in his room, surrounded by things that smelled like Naruto. The scent was a bit musky, but not overly so.

"Hmmm…" Naruto groaned. Sasuke looked down at his sleeping face and noticed the drool on his pants. He frowned. _Gross._ It was also a bit cute, but he didn't want to admit to himself that Naruto could be cute.

He shifted uncomfortably, not know whether he wanted to go home and change his pants - _ugh, more laundry_ \- or stay and let the rhythm of Naruto's breathing lull him into a state of thoughtlessness for a little longer.

Sasuke leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes, feeling Naruto's body rise and fall with each breath beneath his left hand. He lifted his right hand and tentatively buried his fingers in Naruto's blond hair.

Then he felt the sleeping boy's arm switch. Sasuke's entire body froze. Panic began to fill his chest, causing his heart to beat faster. He _really_ did not want Naruto to wake up and find them like this with Sasuke's hand in his hair. It would just be way too weird.

Nothing happened and Sasuke slowly managed to relax his body. _I really need to get out of here,_ he realized. He lifted his hands off Naruto, returning to his previous hovering situation. "Naruto," he called softly. "Naruto, it's time to wake up."

No response.

"Naruto," he repeated, gently nudging the boy's shoulder. "Come on, sleepyhead."

"Mm... Iruka, I don't wanna go to school," he mumbled, still half asleep. "I'm sick."

Sasuke smiled, amused by Naruto's childish behavior. "It's Sasuke," he corrected.

Naruto's eyes shot open. He sat up, flailing his arms wildly. "Oh my god," he groaned, rubbing his eyes with both hands. "I totally just passed out on you, didn't I?"

"Pretty much," Sasuke confirmed.

"Oh man." He looked at Sasuke, his expression extremely serious. "Did I say anything weird?"

"No?" Sasuke wondered if he was a regular sleep talker. "Just something about not wanting to go to school when I tried to wake you up."

Naruto smiled, relieved. "I hate getting up in the morning," he elaborated. "This doesn't count, of course," he added quickly. "I'm glad you woke me up, I totally didn't mean to fall asleep on you." He looked towards the window. "Oh shit, it's dark outside!"

"It's fine. I didn't really want to go home always." Sasuke stretched his stiff legs out in front of him. "You drooled on me," he teased, pointing out the small wet spot on his thigh. Naruto blushed so deeply that Sasuke could not have possibly missed it even in the dim light. "I don't mind, really. There's no need to blush that much," he teased, enjoying his newfound abilities to make Naruto flustered.

Naruto covered his face with both hands and let his head fall forward. "Oh man," he stammered. "Is it that obvious?"

Sasuke smiled wickedly. "The drooling or the blushing?"

"I'll be right back," he said quietly.

Sasuke watched him get up and leave the room, still hiding his face. He heard a faucet running and water plashing. He thought maybe it was time to give Naruto a break and go home. He stood up and adjusted his shirt, which was riding up beneath his jacket.

Naruto returned and paused in the doorway, one hand still on the knob. "Leaving?"

"Yeah," Sasuke confirmed. "Seems like you're ready to go to bed." He smirked.

Naruto scowled at him and went over to the desk, moving the mouse around to bring the monitor out of sleep mode. "It's only eight at night," he reported.

"Are you saying you want me to stay?"

There was a long silence between them. "Naw," Naruto finally said. "See you in labs?"

"See you in labs," Sasuke confirmed. He closed the door behind him as he left the bedroom and made his way to the kitchen to take his groceries home. He opened the door and found his milk and cream cheese at the front, but not the bag or the rest of his items. _I guess why waste fridge space on laundry detergent,_ he figured, looking around for his things.

He went back out into the living room in search or Iruka, but it was empty. He figured it was probably inappropriate to start opening random doors in search of him, so he went back to Naruto's room for help.

He opened the door, not thinking to knock until it was too late. He found Naruto sitting on his bed in the near dark with his head back and his hand deep in his pants.

"Fuck, sorry," Sasuke blurted. He saw Naruto's head pop up, eyes wide and cheeks red, just as Sasuke slammed the door shut.

 _Oh my god,_ Sasuke thought, panicking. _What is wrong with me, why didn't I knock? Why didn't he wait until I was out of the house? Why didn't he lock his door?_ Sasuke stumbled backwards until his body found a wall to lean against. _Why was he masterbating?_ That was the real question.

Sasuke stumbled down the hall and back to the kitchen to collect his dairy products. He picked up his boots and carried them to the car wearing just his socks, not wanting to hang around and take the time to lace the boots properly. When he got to it, he dropped the boots on the ground and set the groceries on the roof of the car while he patted himself down in search of his keys. He would have sworn they were in his jacket pocket, but they weren't there now. He checked all four pockets on his jeans and even inside his boots just for the remote possibility that he didn't have to go back inside that house to find his keys.

He was considering how long it would take him to walk home, when the front door opened and Naruto appeared. He held up Sasuke's keys from across the street. Sasuke groaned and walked back to the house. Naruto came out to the porch with bare feet and arms. He looked tense, but Sasuke couldn't tell whether it was from the cold or embarrassment.

"Here," he said, dropping the keys into Sasuke's palm.

"I'm sorry," Sasuke told him.

"Naw." Naruto smiled. It was forced but still friendly.

Sasuke considered asking about his missing merchandise, but decided it was probably best to leave as quickly as possible and just go home.


	10. So Warm

Sasuke gave the container a few final shakes up and down just for good measure. _That's the last of it,_ he concluded, screwing the cap back on. He gave the washing machine lid a gentle nudge with one finger and allowed gravity to do the rest. It slammed shut, and Sasuke winced from the loud noise even though he'd been expecting it. He hit the start button and stared down at the empty detergent container in his hand. It was sticky all over from spillage, as soap containers tended to get.

He couldn't decide between going back to Naruto's to retrieve his soap and bagels, going to the store to buy new ones to avoid Naruto, or just crying "screw it all" and continuing to procrastinate doing laundry or seeing Naruto.

"Screw it all," he muttered, tossing the empty container into the nearby trash bin and rinsing off his hands in the laundry room sink. He gave the dryer the evil eye before heading back upstairs to his room.

He flopped down on the bed, feeling tired and emotionally exasperated. _That weirdo Naruto,_ he thought bitterly, _always making things uncomfortable._ He touched his lips gingerly with two fingers and closed his eyes, letting his mind wander once again to that kiss. It had happened so unexpectedly that Sasuke hadn't really been able to take in the moment properly. It seemed like he was remembering a vague dream rather than an actual event.

He stared up at the ceiling fan. It had started to become a habit for him to watch it go around and around whenever he was lost in thought. It hummed gently like a fly circling the room, but softer. There wasn't even a reason for the fan to be on, since it was cold outside and the heater was blasting. It was actually quite counterproductive, but he liked it to be on regardless.

Sasuke felt extremely uninspired that Sunday afternoon. He wasn't interested in cleaning, homework, television, or even journaling. He would have liked to take a nap but his sleep schedule was too regular and his body felt restless even though his mind was exhausted.

His eyes wandered over to the closet, and he thought about the letter from Akatsuki Institute. Sasuke knew that if he threw it out without reading it, his curiously would haunt him for the rest of his life. It seemed that he had no choice except to read it, it was only a matter of when. _Not yet,_ he thought decidedly, rolling over onto his side to face away from the closet. _And whatever it says, it doesn't change anything._

Sasuke felt like lying there forever; never dealing with anything or anyone ever again. He imagined himself sinking into the mattress until he was simply gone, engulfed in darkness. He closed his eyes, figuring that was the closest he could get.

The sound of a ringing cellphone pulled him back from the brink of napping. He cursed to himself and sat up. He'd never bothered to change the ringtone from it's horrendous default setting because, frankly, nobody ever called him. He made a mental note to do so as he reached across the bed for the device.

"What?"

"Uh," the person on the other end stammered. "Yes, hello. Is this Sasuke Uchiha that I'm speaking to?" Sasuke could tell that it was a man on the other end from the sound of his voice.

"That's me," Sasuke confirmed.

"My name is Nagato. I'm calling from Akatsuki Psychiatric Institution about your older brother, Itachi Uchiha."

"I don't want to hear about him," Sasuke told the man on the phone decisively. "If you're not calling to inform me of his death or something, then we have nothing to discuss."

"Please wait," Nagato asked, sensing that Sasuke was about to hang up. Sasuke did not reply, but continued to hold the phone to his ear. "Did you receive the letter?"

"It's haven't read it," he answered, adding a mental _yet._

"It's see." There was a brief pause, and Sasuke was just about to end the call when Nagato continued in the knick of time. "I suppose it's your choice to read it or not read it, but I think it would be good for you and Itachi both. He's trying to reach out to you."

"I don't care," he told the guy angrily. "He means nothing to me. His words mean nothing." Sasuke hung up before this Nagato fellow could attempt to pry any further into his lack of a relationship with his brother. He threw the phone across the room weakly just for good measure. It landed on the carpet with a soft thud, like a person flopping into bed after a long day.

He was tempted to fetch the stupid thing and throw it again, this time for real. He imagined it smashing against the wall and breaking into thousands of tiny pieces. _I'm fucking pathetic_. He slapped himself in the face hard. It stung, but he didn't mind that. He minded that it reminded him of getting punched by Naruto. He looked back at his phone again. _Naruto, huh?_ He remembered how calm he'd felt sitting in the dark listening to the other boy breath rhythmically. Well, figuring out where to put his hands hadn't been very calming, but it wasn't like he was about to call Naruto with the intention of being his lap pillow again.

He paused, going over his own thoughts again to make sure he had really just thought them, and asked himself, _I'm about to call Naruto?_ He tried to imagine what he would say if Naruto picked up, but it sounded bad even in his mind every way he considered it. His phone etiquette was not very extensive. _I have to get my stuff back from his house anyways,_ he figured, rising to his feet. He couldn't do laundry without laundry soap, and that big jug he'd bought at the store hadn't exactly been cheap.

Having successful convinced himself into going back to Naruto's house, Sasuke showered and dressed properly. He brushed his teeth, put deodorant on, styled his hair, the whole nine yards. He even added a barely noticeable dash of eyeliner, a habit he'd picked from Gaara, though he didn't use it anywhere near as extensively as his kinda-sorta-friend did. He wore a simple long sleeve burgundy knit shirt with buttons that trailed a fourth of the way down his chest. His pants were just black jeans that fell somewhere between the skinny and straight leg categories, and his shoes were just the same old black boots he wore nearly every day.

Sasuke peeked out the window. It wasn't raining outside, but grey clouds reached at far as the eye could see and judging by the way the trees were swaying, it was probably very windy, so Sasuke grabbed his raincoat on the way out just in case. He drove in silence, as he usually did. He had never been a huge music person, always preferring the quiet and the sounds of the real world. The engine when he drove or the trees brushing their leaves against each other when he was outside, for example.

He parked in the same spot as last time:on the curb across the street from the house. The house itself looked the same as before, not that he'd expected it to look any different. It just seemed too inviting, considering what had transpired the last time he'd been inside of it. The soft grey blue hues paired with that little porch and cozy looking bench made the place seem incredibly homely, like he would walk in and Iruka would be wearing an apron and serve him tea and snacks.

He rubbed his temples with his thumbs for a moment to collect his thoughts then exited the car, making sure his keys were safely in his front pants pocket this time. He waited for an SUV to drive by before crossing the now empty street, climbing the three steps up to Naruto's door and knocking three times before he could change his mind and scurry back to his car and drive home. _Laundry soap,_ he reminded himself, _it's all in the name of bagels and laundry soap._

To his surprise, it was Kakashi who answered the door. "You're back."

They hadn't run into each other when Sasuke had been there the previous day, so Sasuke had all but forgotten that his biology teacher even lived there. "Mr. Kakashi," he blurted, trying to pull his jumbled thoughts back together. "I left some stuff here yesterday."

Kakashi rubbed his nose on the back of his wrist and said, "I was going to bring it to school tomorrow, but this works just as well. It's actually easier for me this way." He stepped aside and beckoned Sasuke in. Sasuke removed his boots before following Kakashi into the kitchen. It was weird seeing his teacher in pajama pants and an ill fitting graphic T-shirt. He looked incredibly out of character. "Here you go," he said as he handed the bag to Sasuke. "I would leave my laundry soap at someone's house too, if it meant not folding clothes for one more day," he joked, giving Sasuke a playful and very uncomfortable wink.

"I'll just be going now," Sasuke muttered, already regretting his choice to come. "Thanks."

"Naruto is in his room if you want to go say hi," Kakashi told him. "See you at school." He disappeared through one of the hallway doors.

Sasuke's eyes floated to the very end: to Naruto's door. _I have what I came for,_ he told himself, looking down at the bag he was holding. _I should go home now._ Even so, Naruto's door was calling to him. _Well, it'll be weird if Kakashi tells him I was here and I didn't go say hi,_ he finally convinced himself. _I'll be quick._ He made his way to the door and made sure to knock this time.

"Come in," Naruto called.

Sasuke opened the door and peered inside. Naruto was at his computer, extremely engrossed in what appeared to be some sort of video game. His expression was more concentrated than Sasuke had thought was even possible for a guy as hyperactive as Naruto.

"Hey," Sasuke greeted tentatively, thinking it might be a good idea to retreat and let Naruto get back to whatever he was focusing so intently on.

Sasuke was surprised to see that his greeting startled Naruto. The mouse flew from his hand and dangled off the keyboard tray by it's cord. "Shit, Sasuke!" he exclaimed, bringing his right hand up the rest on his heart. "Holy crap, I thought you were Iruka."

Sasuke smirked, feeling accomplished. "Hey, at least I knocked this time," he teased, not quite done messing with him. Naruto turned his head away, but not before Sasuke saw the blush painting his scarred cheeks. The smirk was now in danger of becoming a smile, and Sasuke had to put some effort into keeping it contained. Naruto brought the mouse back onto the desk and closed the game. "I didn't mean to interrupt you if you're in the middle of something," Sasuke added, this time being sincere. "I just came to grab some things I left behind." He held up the shopping bag as proof.

"No it's fine," Naruto insisted. "I was just doing something to suppress the boredom." He looked across the room towards Sasuke, still blushing just slightly. "I haven't gotten any farther in Durarara. I don't know you were into or not, but…" he trailed off.

Sasuke shrugged. "It was pretty interesting, I'd watch more."

"Cool, busy today?"

This was definitely not what Sasuke had had in mind when he came over, but he wasn't complaining either. He considered the clothes in the washing machine at home that needed to be switched before they started molding. _Eh, screw it all._ "Naw, I'm not doing anything important today." He closed the door and took a seat on the bed.

"Cool." Naruto set up the next episode, titled the monitor towards the bed slightly, and plopped down right next to Sasuke. They were so close that he could feel the blond boy's body heat on his own skin, even though they weren't actually touching.

 _He's so warm._


	11. Way Too Hot

Sasuke was starting to become irritated by Naruto's incessant fidgeting. Their bodies weren't touching, but Naruto had sat so close to him the he could feel every movement via the mattress and occasional elbow bump. They had watched two episodes in complete silence thus far, unlike the previous time when Naruto commented on something in the show every twenty seconds or so.

Without turned his head, Sasuke moved his eyes to look at Naruto. For a fraction of a second their eyes met, but the other boy's eyes moved back towards the screen almost instantaneously. He got the sinking feeling that something was wrong.

When the episode ended, Sasuke stood up and paused it. He turned around to face Sasuke and leaned back against the desk with his arms crossed. "What's up?" he questioned, not liking how tense it felt in the rather small bedroom.

Naruto gave him a sheepish smile. "Sorry." he said. "Are you bored? We can do something else if you want."

Sasuke shook his head and looked down at his arms. "You're different from yesterday," he elaborated.

"I am?" Naruto raised one eyebrow quizzically. Sasuke countered with a knowing smirk. "Okay fine. I still feel totally awkward about yesterday." He turned his head to the side, closing his eyes and crossing his arms. "You know, when you… uh… walked in... suddenly."

Memories of walking in on Naruto flooded into Sasuke's mind: his flushed face, half lidded eyes, slightly parted lips. Sasuke bit down on his own bottom lip hard to stop his mind from wandering too far. "Hmph." It was now Sasuke's turn to blush. "What was up with that, anyways?" he muttered almost inaudibly, not expecting an answer.

As expected, Naruto didn't give him one. "Are you hungry at all?" he asked his guest.

Sasuke had to consider this for a moment. He'd had so much on his mind all day that eating hadn't crossed his mind at all. He replied, "actually yeah" to his own surprise.

Naruto perked up at this. "Instant ramen!" he cried, pumping a fist into the air with a grin. "Let's do it!"

Sasuke had to smirk, amused by Naruto's antics. I suppose I'll let him change the subject for now. "Sure, I haven't had ramen in a while."

"That's a crime against nature," Naruto told him. "It's unjust not to eat ramen at least once a day!" He puffed out his chest and gave it a hearty pound with his fist.

"Uh, that's a bit much isn't it? All that salt can't be good for you."

"Hey, ramen's good for the spirit, too," Naruto corrected him. "Girls eat chocolate, I eat ramen."

Sasuke wasn't convinced, but he humored Naruto by muttering "uh huh" because he was hungry enough to go along with it. Besides, Naruto was kind of cute when he got all excited about ramen.

He led Sasuke to the kitchen, where he filled the kettle and set it on the stove. "Which flavor do you want?" he asked Sasuke, who shrugged in response. "Beef, chicken, veggie, shrimp, spicy shrimp -"

"Chicken," Sasuke cut in, not wanting to hear Naruto list every imaginable instant ramen flavor.

Naruto opened the large two door cupboard filled with so many instant ramen packages that many were being held inside by the cupboard door alone, and fell onto the counter when Naruto opened it. Naruto picked out one chicken and one spicy shrimp flavored package, balanced the rest carefully on the others, and shut the door slowly so as not to knock them down again.

Sasuke plucked one from Naruto's hand and squinted at the ingredients list printed on the side. He began reading, "enriched wheat flour, various hydrogenated vegetable oils, salt, chicken fat, corn syrup, dextrose." He paused, sounding out the next word in his mind before attempting to pronounce it aloud. "Do you know what disodium guanylate is? Let's see, disodium inosinate, hydrolyzed corn and soy proteins, because you know, our diets are totally lacking in corn and soy. Powdered chicken definitely sounds appetizing. Then more salts: monosodium glutamate, sodium alginate, sodium carbonate, sodium caseinate, sodium phosphate, sodium tripolyphosphate. TBHQ, can't forget that: a form of butane used to stabilize explosives and preserve food. How diverse."

Naruto rolled his eyes and repeated his earlier argument, "like I said, good for the soul." He took the cup back and peeled the lid off halfway, then set it on the table next to his own just as the kettle started to whistle. He poured the hot water into the cups, flattened the lids again, then fetched a fork for Sasuke and a set of chopsticks for himself.

Sasuke took the fork without complaint, even though he was quite competent with chopsticks. "Next time I'll treat you to real ramen," he offered. "The good stuff."

A huge grin took over Naruto's face. "Yeah, Ichiraku!" He pointed at Sasuke with his chopsticks. "I'm going to hold you to that, believe it!"

Sasuke smirked. "Do you think I would forget?"

"Doesn't matter, 'cause I won't," he answered, bouncing up and down in his chair with excitement as he pulled the ramen cup towards him, clicking his chopsticks together eagerly.

"Tsk." Sasuke watched him inhale his ramen with astonishing enthusiasm. He was finished and on his feet to fetch a second serving by Sasuke's sixth bite. This time he added a hearty amount of Sriracha to it, then continued to make annoying clicking sounds with his chopsticks while he waited for the noodles to soften. The excessive salt burned the small injury on the inside of Sasuke's lip from when he'd bitten it earlier to bring himself back from memories of Naruto with his hand… wrapped around… and that face. Uh oh.

Naruto was leaning back in his chair with one hand resting satisfactorily on his stomach. "Ahh…" Sasuke looked down at his own half full container of ramen as Naruto continued to make various exclamations of contentment. "Oh yeah, that's was so good. Mmm..."

Sasuke couldn't help but add Naruto's sounds to his memories of yesterday. The result was Naruto on his bed with his hand in his pants going "ahh" and "mmm" with those treacherously sexy slightly parted lips of his. "You can finish mine too," Sasuke offered, pushing the container across the table. His appetite was completely gone even though his stomach was still grumbling.

Naruto looked down at Sasuke's ramen with concern and asked, "do you want something else instead?"

"No, that's okay." He stood up shakily. "I should really get home actually. I'll just get my stuff from your room and be going."

"Oh, sure." Naruto polished off the ramen with unrivaled speediness and stood up to dispose of the containers before Sasuke even tucked the chair in.

Sasuke made his way down the hall, acutely aware of the fact that Naruto was a mere few steps behind him, watching intently. What's he thinking, he wondered. More importantly, what am I thinking? He really hadn't planned on any romantic encounters until college, and was very unprepared. Not that this is any kind of romantic encounter, he reminded himself sternly. I'm just being crazy and thinking weird things. I must be way too stressed out. He entered the room and was bending down to pick up the bag with he felt Naruto's hand on his lower back.

"Hey, Sasuke?" That tingling sensation from before zipped up his spine, and Sasuke's entire body became paralyzed in an awkward hunched over position with his arm still outstretched. His fingers were so close to wrapping around the bag's handles. He was almost there. "Are you sick or something?" Naruto sounded really concerned. Sasuke felt the hand on his back slide around his waist and pull him upright again. He looked back at the person said hand belonged to and shook his head to indicate that no, he was not sick. Well, I might be sick in the head, he considered. The hand still did not retreat from it's resting place on his chest. It was almost like Naruto was embracing him with one arm, but not quite.

"Naruto," he whispered.

Naruto leaned in to hear him better. "What?" His breath was hot, and tickled Sasuke's usually untickleable neck. His shoulder rose instinctively to fend off the source of the tickling sensation, but he ended up pulling Naruto's face closer by accident.

"You can let go now," he squeaked.

"Right!" Naruto pulled back and Sasuke nearly fell to the ground. He hadn't realised how much Naruto's arm had been supporting his weight. He caught himself with one hand on the bed, then straightened up and turned around.

Naruto really is quite strong, he acknowledged, allowing his eyes to drink in the boy's shape from head to toe. He had a stronger jaw than Sasuke, and tanner skin but lighter arm hair. It was so light, in fact, that it was hard to see. Sasuke wondered vaguely if he was blond in other places, too. They were approximately the same height, but Naruto's shoulders were slightly more broad.

"Sasuke?" Naruto stepped towards him, tilting his head to the side slightly with concern. "Are you sure you're feeling okay?" He extended a hand to feel the temperature of his forehead, but Sasuke managed to smack it away before it reached it's destination.

"I'm fine," he stammered, not actually feeling fine at all. His heart was beating way too fast for it to be normal, and he was feeling a bit lightheaded. He wondered if maybe he actually was sick. No, he admitted. It's just… it's Naruto. He sat down gently on the bed, hoping it might help him feel less queasy. No such luck. This is ridiculous.

Naruto took a seat beside him, and the mattress dipped beneath their combined weight causing them to lean in towards each other. Their shoulders were pressed together and the room felt way too hot. Naruto was way too hot. I have to get out of here, he realized, before I do something totally irrational. He closed his eyes to calm himself.

He felt Naruto's weight shift forward, and assumed he was going to stand up. The side of his face felt warm. He turned towards the sensation and opened his eyes. Naruto's lips were on his before he could even register that he'd seen his face or that the warmth had been his breath. Sasuke was incredibly aware of Naruto's physical presence as everything else faded away. He felt the other boy's mouth moving gently against his own, his hot breath mixing with his, a hand returning to the same place on his lower back as before.

This kiss was different from the first one. It was soft. Kind, even. Instead of wanting to push Naruto away like he had the last time, he wanted to pull him closer, so that was what he did, and Naruto did the same. Their bodies pressed together eagerly until Naruto's won out and Sasuke was pushed onto his back. Naruto followed him down, turning his body to face Sasuke's. He brought a knee onto the mattress between Sasuke's legs to pull his body up onto the bed, and Sasuke's wrenched his head back with a gasp. Naruto took the opportunity to explore Sasuke's neck with kisses and gentle nibbles. A barely audible moan escaped Sasuke's lips and he buried a hand in blond hair. "Naruto," he whispered.

Naruto pulled away and the two of them locked eyes. "Oh my god," Naruto whispered.

"Wow," was all Sasuke could manage in reply.

"How long have you been into me?"

Sasuke was taken aback by the bluntness of Naruto's question, and his breath caught in his throat. After a moment he was able to respond, "who said that I was?"

An incredibly sexy smirk appeared on Naruto's face. It was something Sasuke had never seen before, but it drove him wild. It was like Naruto was saying I know you want me with his eyes. "Your expression did."

"Idiot." Sasuke slapped him upside the head playfully. Naruto let out a soft laugh and shifted his body so he was straddling Sasuke.

"You jerk," he whispered directly into Sasuke's ear before giving the lobe a gentle nibble. A shiver traveled through Sasuke's entire body. He was definitely into that. Not wanting to give Naruto all the satisfaction, he pushed the other's body to the side and claimed the top position.

Inexperience gave way to instinct as they continued to kiss, exploring each other with their hands and entangling their legs. At some point both of their shirts came off without Sasuke even noticing, but the contact of their naked upper bodies brought him to another level of desire entirely. He wanted more of Naruto. He kissed the other's neck, breathing in his scent deeply, then moved onto his chest, trailing his kisses lower and lower until he had to shift his knees and crawl backwards to keep going. When he got to Naruto's abdomen, the felt a hand in his hair. It held him in place, restricting him from going any further. He peered up to analyze Naruto's expression, wondering if something was wrong. The boy beneath him was biting down on his own lip, looking incredibly excited and nervous at the same time.

Sasuke sat up, and Naruto's hand released it's grip to let him do so. "Sorry," he told Naruto breathlessly. "I got kind of excited"

"Don't apologize," Naruto insisted. "I don't think I've ever been this turned on in my life." Sasuke felt himself get even harder at those words. He loved knowing he was getting Naruto all riled up. "It's just…" He trailed off, turning his head to the side. Sasuke leaned down to kiss his cheek and Naruto responded with a smile. "I don't know. Next time." He turned back towards Sasuke and pecked him on the nose.

"Next time?"

Naruto frowned. "It there not gunna be a next time?"

"I'd like it if there was," Sasuke admitted.

"Me too."

"Hey, so…" Sasuke sat up again. "Can we keep this between us for now?"

"Yeah, totally," Naruto replied, propping himself up on his hands to reach Sasuke's lips for another kiss.

Sasuke let himself fall down onto the bed beside Naruto. He looked up at the ceiling, and found that there was no whirling fan to watch.


	12. Wildly Tangled

Naruto and Sasuke spent the rest of the late afternoon preparing dinner. Sasuke went to the store to buy everything, wanting to treat Naruto's family, then designated the blond as his assistant while he cooked. They prepared butternut squash soup from scratch with a side salad.

Iruka and Kakashi sat across from them as they all ate together at the rectangular table. They both seemed to enjoy their meal, and thanked Sasuke multiple times. Sasuke couldn't help but smile when Naruto got up for a second helping of soup and bread without taking a single bite of salad. He was tempted to comment on it, but ultimately decided it would be weird to tell him to eat his vegetables in front of his parents, who didn't seem to mind. They had probably given up years ago, judging by that stockpile of instant ramen in their cupboard. He set Naruto's salad plate on top of his own empty one and finished it for him, making a mental note not to make that ungrateful junkfood pit any salad next time.

He didn't say much while they ate, preferring to passively watch Naruto's family interact. They took turns asking about each other's days and making jokes at each other's expenses. Kakashi and Iruka would occasionally make small affectionate gestures towards each other such as brushing hair away from the other's face or patting the other's thigh in response to something silly being said. When Iruka stood to put his dishes in the sink he gave Kakashi a quick kiss on the cheek, Sasuke's heart felt like it was both sinking and soaring simultaneously.

He had spent most of his life eating meals with families that he wasn't a part of. This was far from a new experience, yet at the same time there was something completely different about this time. Instead of wishing he could eat alone, in peace, he'd volunteered to be there. He'd gone out of his way to purchase and prepare dinner for these people. He'd spent the better part of two days in their house by choice.

"How long have you been together?" Sasuke asked. The question seemed to ask itself without Sasuke meaning to ask it. He only thought about whether or not it was an appropriate question after the fact.

Kakashi smiled, not seeming to mind the inquiry at all. "Almost thirteen years," he answered. Sasuke thought that was a long time considering neither of them could be older than their mid thirties, which meant they had probably been together since their late teens or maybe early twenties. They could have even been Naruto and Sasuke's age when they had gotten together. He was genuinely impressed by the two of them.

Iruka sat back down at the table with just his glass of water. "Now we'll have to send Naruto home with you sometime, Sasuke, to repay the favor," he said. "Though I'll be honest, he's not half the cook you are."

"Hey, I resent that!" Naruto crossed his arms stubbornly.

"I believe Sasuke lives by himself," Kakashi corrected his partner. "Is that right?" Sasuke nodded, wondering how much the staff at school actually knew about his personal life. Or maybe Naruto had told him. Either way, he found it a little uncomfortable.

Iruka seemed to put the pieces together and smiled at him apologetically, saying, "oh, that's right." Sasuke couldn't help but wonder how many people actually knew. He almost never revealed things about his personal life to people. The only person he'd ever really discussed things in detail with was Gaara, yet everyone seemed to know about bits and pieces of his life.

He looked over at Naruto, who was eating more bread than anything else for this meal. He wondered how the guy managed to stay in such incredible shape when he was always eating garbage.

When it seemed that everyone had finished, Sasuke went to the sink to start cleaning but Iruka put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head. "You've done plenty, we'll clean up."

Sasuke nodded and followed Naruto back to his room, leaving the dishes to Naruto's parents. He took a seat on the bed and was almost immediately joined by Naruto, who flopped over to lay his head on Sasuke's lap. He brought one hand up to pet Naruto's hair and let the other one rest on his waist. It reminded him a lot of the previous day when Naruto had fallen asleep on him in this position, but this time they were both awake, and Naruto reached a hand across his own body to place it on Sasuke's. He rubbed gentle circles on Sasuke's wrist with his thumb, and made quiet humming sounds as Sasuke attempted to run his fingers through wildly tangled blond hair.

"Sasuke?"

"What's up?" he asked.

"This is going to sound really shitty of me," he continued, "but could we not tell Sakura about this for a bit?"

Sasuke's heart plummeted down into his stomach. He had never considered himself a jealous person but in this instance it seemed reasonable to him. "It's not like we're dating," he replied coldly, scooting out from under Naruto's head and standing.

"Ah crap, you totally have the wrong idea." Naruto sat up and scratched his head thoughtfully, probably trying to think of a way to work himself out of this.

"No, I get it," Sasuke insisted. "You still like Sakura. I didn't think you'd stopped or anything." He bent down to grab his bag of things he'd originally come for, and vaguely wished he'd just gotten them and gone home without all this happening. "It's not like we're a couple or anything so don't worry about it. You know me, I wouldn't tell anyone." _So why am I upset that he doesn't want to tell people either?_ He asked himself. _I was the one who originally suggested keeping it under wraps._

"Will you just let me explain?" Sasuke shut the bedroom door behind him firmly as he left. He hadn't slammed it or anything, but it definitely conveyed the message of not wanting to be followed.

 _I won't take it for anything more than it was,_ he told himself. _A hookup or a fling or whatever people call it these days._ He thought he had made it to the car without being followed when he heard Naruto fling the front door open and run across the street towards him barefoot. Sasuke sighed and turned around, crossing his arms in irritation.

"Dude, just hold up," Naruto requested. Sasuke didn't respond. "I just mean that… she's really in love with you, that's all. Like, _really_ in love with you." Naruto shifted his weight uncomfortably. "To tell the truth, I stopped wanting Sakura like that sometime last year. I mean I still care about her and all but," he paused to emphasize his shoulder shrug, then continued, "I would only ever be a backup for her. Second or maybe third choice. Now I think of her more like… maybe an older sister who finds me bothersome, I guess."

 _Sounds like you're still into her to me,_ Sasuke thought. He wanted to say it aloud but was worried he would sound too jealous. The whole not-acting-jealous ship had definitely already sunk, but he could at least still keep himself from going down with it. He still had his head above water so far.

"She's important to you," Sasuke acknowledged. "You don't want to see her get hurt."

Naruto smiled. "Exactly," he confirmed, happily leaning in to give Sasuke a goodbye kiss.

Sasuke put his hand up to stop him, letting Naruto foolishly kiss his palm. "Not here," he instructed, looking all around for people. Naruto looked dismayed, but complied with the instruction. They exchanged small, awkward waves before parting.

Sasuke waited until Naruto disappeared into the house before getting into his car. He got the feeling that his life had just gotten a lot more complicated. It didn't seem like he would be able to simply keep his head down and avoid trouble like he'd been doing so far. _I suppose it's not too late to tell Naruto to get lost,_ he figured, not really wanting to do that at all. For a guy who had always hated physical contact, the experience of eagerly leaning into Naruto's touches had been something wholly foreign. _I liked it though_ , he admitted, pulling away from the curb and starting for home. _I really wanted him._

He turned the windshield wipers on to their lowest setting when a gentle rain began to fall. He zoned out to the sound of them sliding back and forth until he arrived home, where he was suddenly happy to remember that he had brought his raincoat into the car. He draped it over his shoulders and put the hood up, but didn't bother with the sleeves since he was only going from the driveway to the front door.

Once inside, he put away his shoes and coat before heading to the laundry room to rotate the laundry. He was glad to find that the contents of the dryer was just towels and sheets, which were easy enough to put away.

It was past eleven o'clock at night by the time all the laundry was finished. He'd dumped all the socks into a hamper to deal with some other time, but the rest of it was put away. He brushed his teeth and undressed down to his boxers before climbing into bed. He closed his eyes and waited for the whooshing sounds of the fan to lead him down it's spiral path into sleep.

X X X

" _Sasuke, this is going to be your new home for a while." Sasuke flicked the woman's hand away from his shoulder for what seemed like the hundredth time since he'd gone to live with her two days ago. She gave him an exasperated sigh and said, "good luck child," as if that was all he needed: a little luck._

" _Tsk."_

" _Now Sasuke, these people having been taking kids in for years. They're really generous people, and for right now you'll be the only child living with them," his social worker explained. He was a middle aged guy with round glasses and grey hair that seemed to belong to someone much older. "It would be in your best interest to be polite to them."_

 _Sasuke stared at the house. It was two stories tall and painted a horrendously cheery bright yellow color. He could tell by the print on the curtains hanging in the windows that it was going to have that unmistakable smell of old people._

" _Come along, Sasuke," his social worker urged. Sasuke followed him to the front door, standing a safe distance behind him while he knocked._

 _The door was answered almost immediately by an elderly woman. "You're late, Kabuto," she scolded the social worker. "Have you brought Sasuke Uchiha?" Kabuto stepped aside to show her Sasuke, who did not appreciate being stared at by this lady. She wore plain grey clothes and wore her grey hair in a bun atop her head held in place by a long, skinny piece of wood with beads hanging off each end. Her face was very square, probably due to the way her cheeks sagged with age. Sasuke couldn't tell whether she was squinting at him, or she just had baggy eyelids. Either way, he didn't liked being watched. "Come, child." She extended a hand, palm up._

 _Sasuke stayed put, looking towards Kabuto for guidance. He nodded at him, then gestured towards the old woman with his head._

" _Call me Koharu," she instructed, waving him over with her hand. "Now come. My husband Homura is inside, he'd like to meet you now."_

 _Sasuke went to her cautiously. She put a hand on his upper back and corralled him inside, thanking Kabuto as she closed the door. Just as he had suspected, it smelled like mothballs and old folks._

" _Would you like to see your room now, Sasuke?"_

X X X

Sasuke reached for his phone to check the time. _Ugh,_ he thought when he saw it, _past_ _two in the morning._ He quickly put it back on the table, as the bright screen hurt his eyes in the dark.

He hadn't been able to sleep for the past three hours. His mind was filled with thoughts of Naruto, or more accurately, questions regarding Naruto: how would they greet each other at school? Would taking him for ramen now count as an actual date? Was Kakashi catching on to the situation? Was Naruto over Sakura, or had that explanation been full of shit? Did it even _matter_ if he was still into Sakura, since he and Sasuke definitely weren't about to become anything "official?" Or did Naruto actually have legitimate feeling for him? Were _Sasuke's_ feeling even real? What counted as real, anyways?

He rolled over and covered his ears with his hands as if that would block out the questions. _What am I doing?_ He asked himself frantically. _Where is this going?_

X X X

 **I've received a lot of complaints about how I put NaruSasu in the description and SasuNaru in the footer of chapter four, which was totally my bad. I have since corrected those mistakes, and would like to clear the air by letting you all know that I do not know or care which one it is. Naruto and Sasuke are both strong-willed characters, so I don't think that one of them needs to fall into a more submissive role than the other. Relationships don't needs a masculine and a feminine, a seme and an uke, or a dominant and a submissive. That stuff's all just labels to me. For the purposes of this story, I don't want to change the characters for the sake of fitting them into some gay archetype. I apologize for the confusion caused by my faulty labeling!**

 **P.S. I'm totally not trying to say that relationships that incorporate dom/sub roles in any degree or form are bad in any way. I'm only trying to convey that this is not a theme that I intend to incorporate into this particular story.**


	13. Sort of Cute

Sasuke and Gaara ate their lunches without conversation. Labs had been unbearably normal. Naruto acted the same as always towards him, and while he was relieved to know that his loudmouth classmate was intending to keep his mouth shut for once, he was also ever so slightly disappointed. He'd spent all night tossing and turning over it, but it seemed to him that Naruto wasn't going to lose a wink of sleep. The sudden return to their normal behaviors also made Sasuke wonder if he'd actually get to be with Naruto again like they'd been over the weekend. Maybe it had been some sort of one-time fluke afterall.

Gaara finished off his sandwich and tossed the crumpled paper into the garbage bin across the walkway with expert precision.

"You would probably wreck all those stupid jocks if you played basketball," Sasuke told him.

"Did you hit your head or something?" Gaara shifted to sit cross legged on the bench. "I'd rather go to Akatsuki Psych than set foot in that smelly locker room. Besides, what a huge waste of energy." He locked his fingers behind his head and looked up at the sky. It was a clear day. Sasuke would not call it warm, but it was definitely sunny. "Any news about your brother?"

Sasuke studied his face intently. "Why would you even ask me that? I never hear anything about him, you know that." Gaara knew something, he was sure of it.

"I was just curious," the redhead explained. "I had a premonition."

"You don't believe in premonitions." Sasuke watched his brow constrict ever so slightly. "Spill it."

Gaara let his hands flop back down onto his lap, but continued to look up with his head tilted back. "We may have chatted a bit while I was there visiting," he admitted. In Sasuke's opinion, his expression wasn't nearly as guilty as it should have been.

"Chatted?" he growled. Sasuke was starting to get pissed off now. It wasn't Gaara's place to be getting involved with his brother. It didn't concern him.

"Yeah," Gaara continued. "He wanted to know all about you, so I told him he should just ask you himself." Gaara shrugged, as if it were the most simple thing in the world. No strings attached. "I wasn't about to narrate the soap opera of your life for him."

 _Is he... worried about me?_ The very notion of that seemed outlandish. The man who had murdered their parents, even shoved Sasuke's face into the carpet soaked with their blood… that man was incapable of caring. _He must wonder if I'm like Gaara,_ he realised, looking down at the overlapping scars all over his arms. _He just wants to know how bad he fucked me up._

Sasuke looked down at the last bit of sandwich in his hands, not feeling very hungry anymore. He and Gaara had walked down to the sub shop a few blocks away and ordered a turkey and avocado sandwich to split. It was the cheapest way to get lunch without braving the horrendous cafeteria food. "Do you want the rest of mine?" he asked.

Gaara shrugged and said, "sure." He took it from Sasuke's hands and quickly ate the last few bites, then tossed the wrappings into the garbage once again with perfect aim.

"I swear you practice sports in your basement at night when you think everyone's asleep."

"It's called being naturally gifted," Gaara corrected him.

Sasuke looked down at his hands. _Blood. There's so much blood!_ He looked out across the lawn at other students eating on the grass, trying to tear his mind away from wherever it was trying to lead him. _Mom… dad… are you okay?_ A gust of wind blew across the grass. He could see it coming towards him by where the grass flattened and sprang back up. _Brother, what happened?_ Black hair blew across his face, and he instinctively closed his eyes. _Big brother? I can't see. It's so dark._

"Sasuke?" He opened his eyes quickly and turned to look at Gaara. His friend wore a very concerned expression. "I shouldn't have brought it up here," he admitted. "Are you okay?"

Sasuke broke their eye contact and looked down. He saw that his hands and knees were shaking ever so slightly. He hadn't even noticed it until Gaara's expression inspired him to look at his own hands. _Stop,_ he told himself. _You're fine. Stop shaking._ As usual, telling his body what to do didn't work.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. "Sasuke," Gaara said his name calmly. "It's okay, we're at school." Sasuke inhaled sharply, making a sound that was faintly reminiscent of a hiccup. "Do you need a ride home or something?"

Sasuke slapped his hand away from his shoulder. "Get off my back," he demanded coldly. "I'm fine." He stood up and attempted to stalk away angrily, but could feel his knees and ankles wobbling with every step. In reality his stalking probably looked more like teetering, but he was at least relieved that Gaara did not attempt to follow him. He wanted a moment alone before he had to go to art class. Whenever he went to art in this kind of mood, he always ended up making something way too personally revealing that his teacher felt compelled to show everyone, which was definitely not his style.

 _Get it together!_ He was frustrated with himself. His body was disobeying him as the trembling spread to his shoulders. The thing that made him panic the most was his complete lack of control over his own reactions. _Stop fucking shaking,_ he commanded his hands. _Stop!_ Sometimes talking or thinking about Itachi was unpleasant but manageable, and other times it was like this.

Gaara had only seen it happen one other time, when he had attempted to open the door to Sasuke's parents' bedroom. Sasuke had barely stopped him in time, but even just seeing the doorknob turn - hearing the soft click - had been enough to induce a panic attack. That had been way worse than what he was dealing with now, but this was still extremely frustrating in its own right. _Why now?_ he wondered. _I'm fine. Nothing has happened._

He found a secluded spot between two school building to wait it out, and sat on his knees in the grass. He tried to breathe as slowly as he could, watching the sky for birds, unique clouds, an airplane - anything to look at besides his own trembling hands. All he could find was blue vastness, so he decided to just go with it. Remembering a trick one of his shrinks had taught him, he tried to think about other blue things: the sea, his binder, blue raspberry flavored slushies (which had never made sense to him), the siding of Naruto's house, Naruto's bedroom walls, Naruto's clear eyes. The waistband of Naruto's boxers peeking out of his jeans.

 _Well, I guess this counts as working,_ he figured, laying down on his back in the grass. The two buildings he was nettles between blocked out the sun and he found the shade rather chilly, so he zipped his jacket all the way up and flipped his hood up over his head.

Sasuke closed his eyes, trying to occupy his mind with more blue things. He added a rule that they couldn't be related to Naruto, who he was honestly tired of thinking about all the time. His shirt was blue. The plates in his kitchen were blue. He bit down gently on his bottom lip in thought. He had a pair of blue sheets somewhere. The rug in the living room was blue. His toothbrush was blue.

He was starting to get bored of this, so he opened his eyes again and brought his hands in front of his face. They weren't trembling anymore. _Damn Itachi,_ he thought just as the bell rang. _Somehow he'll pay for making me like this._ He took his time getting back onto his feet and made sure to pull his hood back and fix his hair before grabbing his bag and heading for class.

Kurenai had already started by the time he arrived. His eyes scanned the room for Naruto, who he remembered was in this class with him, and found that every seat near him was taken. He shrugged to himself and thought, _I wasn't going to sit next to him anyways,_ then took one of the many available seats at Gaara's table.

The art room was an unusual shape, almost like an L. Instead of desks, there were round tables scattered about in no particular pattern. Each table had eight or nine chairs, and no one ever sat at the one Gaara was at. If there were no seats elsewhere, they would dare to take a chair from his table and create a new spot at a different table. Sasuke enjoyed having one class where infatuated girls wouldn't fight over a seat near him, so he always sat with Gaara.

Gaara raised an eyebrow at him after he sat down as if to ask, "Are you okay?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow to match Gaara's as if to reply, "Why wouldn't I be?"

Gaara shrugged, and turned back to Kurenai. She seemed to be continuing with the theme of abstract art from last week. There was a lot of talk about "feelings" and "emotions" and using colors. Sasuke tried to follow along but the whole concept seemed beyond him. Where was the technique? The tricks? The actual skills?

He looked towards Naruto, wondering how he was absorbing all of this. To Sasuke's surprise, he seemed really into the lecture. He was smiling and periodically nodding his head. _It figures the one thing in school I don't get, Naruto gets all into it,_ he thought. It made him wonder where the attraction came from. Somehow they got along well when they were alone even without any common interests. _I'd like to see him in the advanced calc/trig class I took last year,_ he thought bitterly. _That would show him._

"Mrs. Yuuhi," Naruto suddenly called out, completely interrupting the lecture. "Are we going to paint something today?"

Kurenai rolled her eyes. "Not today."

Sasuke exhaled forcefully. _Oh thank god._

"Awe…" Naruto put an elbow on the table and rested his cheek in his hand, frowning. Sasuke thought he was sort of cute when he was pouting, in that childish way where you think other people's little kids are cute but inside you're thankful you don't have to deal with them yourself.

 _I never want kids_ , Sasuke thought with a shudder. _Oh god no._ He wondered how elementary school teachers could stand it, especially with the pathetic pay most teachers get. _What a horrible profession._

Kurenai gave her students an assignment to find a piece of abstract art they like, put a picture of it on a flashdrive, and come to class ready to analyze it presentation-style by Wednesday. She also advised everyone to read over the "How to Talk About Abstract Art" handout again beforehand, then let them out ten minutes early.

Darker clouds had rolled in by the time Sasuke's final class finished. Sometimes he wished that he lived in a place that actually participated in autumn, instead of jumping straight into a muddy pre-winter. The majority of the trees in their area were varieties of evergreens, so there weren't many that changed colors. He considered looking up which universities on his list were located in places where more leaves would change colors, but thought better of it when he considered how little interest he had in raking up said leaves. _I guess if I live in an apartment it won't matter,_ he remembered as he got into his car. It took him almost five minutes to maneuver his vehicle free of the overcrowded parking lot before he could drive home.

He checked the mail on his way inside. It was all coupons and other junk so he tossed it in the recycling before making his way up the stairs. He still spent most of his time at home in his room, even though he had the whole house to himself. He did it more out of habit than anything else. Years of living with strangers in houses where he didn't feel he belonged had formed a number of habits he couldn't seem to shake: this was just one of them.

X X X

 **Thank you to everyone else who's commented! This story would never reach its end without your encouragement!**

 **Shout out to Valune-hf: I would never delete a comment from someone who's left as many comments as you, and would consider any critiques from you quite seriously. You're awesome. Thank you!**


	14. A Carefree Guy

**_Warning: Spoilers for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix._**

 _Sasuke fidgeted in his seat at the table. The entire house was yellow, baby blue, and various shades of grey all the way from white to black. It matched to an almost sickly extent. Even his bedroom suffered from Koharu's obsessive interior decorating._

 _Homaru came into the dining room from the kitchen with a pitcher of water and filled Sasuke's glass before setting the pitcher on the table and returning to help his wife. Sasuke could hear her straining to reach something in the other room._

 _Sasuke closed his eyes while he waited to give them a break from the endless yellow._ I'm never wearing anything except black ever again, _he promised himself._

" _Sasuke, be a dear and carry the salad bowl for me," he heard Koharu call to him from the other room. Sasuke obeyed quietly and fetched the yellow bowl, then sat back down. At least their plates were light blue. He could handle the light blue. He traced the swirly bird designs on the plate with his finger while he waited._

 _He wanted to hurry up and start on the salad, but his foster parents were obsessive about holding hands and praying before anyone started eating. They had made this very clear the last time he had dug in before prayer, when they had put him in timeout to "reflect and apologize to God." He had passed the time reading_ A Series of Unfortunate Events _by Lemony Snicket, which they had forgotten to take away from him. He had started reading it before his life had been blown up and put through a woodchipper by… that man. Sometimes he wondered if the book had been some form of Pandora's box, and he'd jinxed his life the moment he read that first line: "If you are interested in stories with happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book."_

 _His stomach grumbled and he looked towards the salad longingly. He really wanted that big juicy tomato slice on top. He leaned back in his chair to peer through the archway that led into the kitchen. Koharu was not in view, and Homaru seemed occupied with something on the counter, with his back turned._ Now's my chance! _Sasuke quickly snatched the tomato slice and popped it in his mouth. He tried to chew it as quickly as he could, but it was much too big for Sasuke to eat in one bite. He heard footsteps from the kitchen coming towards him._ Uh oh. _He tried to chew faster, but it was just too big._

" _Sasuke, would you get the bread basket, too?" Homaru was standing right behind him. Sasuke gulped nervously, momentarily forgetting about the huge tomato slice. It slid down his throat painfully, and for a few frightening seconds, Sasuke was unable to breath. He quickly reached for his glass of water and chugged it down frantically, then slammed it back onto the table and took in a deep, relieved breath. "Are you okay, kiddo?" Homaru asked, sitting down beside him at the circular table._

" _I'm fine," Sasuke choked out. He stood wearily to fetch the bread._

X X X

Sasuke was sitting cross legged on his bedroom floor. He had pulled all the boxes out of his closet and arranged them in a semicircle before him, intending to make them a little more organized.

He started by pulling everything out and scattering it on the floor, then used a Sharpie to label one box "Donations" and one "Trash," then left the rest unlabeled. The first thing he picked up from the pile was the fourth book in the Dragon Slayer's Academy series. The corner of his mouth pulled up into the tiniest smile as he remembered torturing his foster sister by only speaking in Pig Latin, which he had learned from this book series as a child. The chuckled softly and tossed it into the donations box along with three more books from the same series that had been lying underneath it. Next he picked up a journal from sometime in middle school, which he put in one of the unlabeled boxes. He did the same with the next few journals, then came across the fifth book in the Harry Potter series: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. He weighed in it his hands, thinking it was a pretty hefty book for a seven year old to read. Reading had been his favorite pastime as a child, so he supposed it wasn't too surprising. He set it in the donations box with a wistful _rest in peace_ thought for Dobby, then continued sorting. So far he'd decided to donate all of his childhood books and keep all of his journals. The trash boxed remained empty.

A few minutes passed before Sasuke's lower back started to ache. He stood up and stretched his arms over his head before returning to his work on the floor with slightly better posture. Sasuke labeled everything he sorted in his head as he went: _DSA: donate, Potter: donate, journal: keep, Potter: donate. I think that's all seven of those. DSA: donate, A Series of Unfortunate Events: donate, journal: keep. DSA: donate._ He reached over to set the Dragon Slayer's Academy book in the donation box, but paused when he saw the third book in A Series of Unfortunate Events already there. _Wait, is this…?_ He picked it up with his other hand, dropping Dragon Slayer's Academy into the box in its place. _I forgot all about these books,_ he realized, running a hand over the cover. He had been reading this series when his parent's died. He had actually made in halfway through the same third book when it had happened. He had started reading it again at Koharu and Homaru's house, when he'd gotten in trouble for eating before mealtime prayers and had nothing else to occupy him in his room.

He flipped it open to the first page and read it out loud to himself. "If you didn't know much about the Baudelaire orphans, and you saw them sitting on their suitcases at Damocles Dock, you might think that they were bound for an exciting adventure." Sasuke scoffed, remembering the time he'd sat on his suitcase waiting at the social services office for over two hours at age eleven. He had read this series as a child more times than he was able to count. Their story had resonated with his own life so well. The only thing that had bothered him was the fact that the main characters were three siblings who could only trust in each other, whereas Sasuke's own brother had… well… he definitely didn't trust his brother. Sasuke had always felt jealous of the Baudelaire siblings because of that.

He set the book down in a different unlabeled box, separated from the journals he was keeping, but also from the books he was donating. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do with these books yet. He continued sorting. _DSA: donate, journal: keep, crappy childhood drawing: trash, birthday card from mom,_ he looked at her chicken scratch handwriting on the envelope and smiled sadly. _Keep. DSA: wow, how many of these things do I have? Donate!_ He tossed it lazily into the donations box. _Unfortunate Events: with the other one. DSA: donate._

The donation box had just about reached maximum capacity by this point. He managed to squish one more Dragon Slayer's Academy book into it, then closed the flaps and got up to retrieve a roll of packing tape from his desk. He taped it securely shut, then pushed it across the room with his foot towards the bedroom door before returning to his cross legged sorting position. The next thing he picked up was an envelope. He didn't recognize it as the letter from his brother until he flipped it over and saw his own name and address in Itachi's beautiful handwriting.

He hadn't been intending to read the letter just yet. His goal had simply been to make some space in his cluttered cluttered closet, but now that it was in his hands, he felt the urge to read it for the first time. He peered inside the envelope at the lined piece of paper. He could faintly see the ink on the other side of the paper when the light made its way into the envelope at just the right angle, but he couldn't make out letters or words. _Screw it all,_ he told himself as he stuck his hand into the envelope and pulled the letter out more violently than was necessary. It seemed to him that that phrase was starting to become his new motivational motto.

The envelope fell from his hands and landed gently on the pile of books and journals before him. He could now see that there were actually two pieces of lined paper, one of which had writing on both sides. There was also a piece of white printer paper folded inside the two lined pieces. He opened the three part fold carefully, and looked at the unlined paper first. It was a bird's eye view drawing done with a regular graphite pencil of a man and a woman lying in bed together. They were both wearing pajamas, and had the blankets pulled up to about their waists. The man was lying on his back with both arms wrapped protectively around the woman, who was curled up next to him with an arm draped over his body. They were both smiling, with their forehead pressed together affectionately. _Is this…?_ Sasuke held the drawing closer to his face, studying their features carefully. _It's mom and dad,_ he realised. He couldn't seem to tear his eyes away. _Mom..._

X X X

 _Sasuke blinked furiously, trying to stop his tears. Kabuto had given him a printed picture of him as an infant with his parents. They were standing in a forested park together. His father had one arm wrapped around his mother, and his mother had Sasuke wrapped up tight in a white blanket, cradled in her arms. They were both smiling at the camera. It was almost like they were smiling at Sasuke through the image. He hugged the picture to his chest and curled up around it. It seemed as if the yellow walls were closing in all around him. He hugged his knees to himself even tighter, wiping his nose on his jeans._

X X X

Sasuke tried to ignore the prickling sensation of tears beginning to form in his eyes. He couldn't figure out what Itachi was trying to tell him with this drawing. Was he trying to further torture Sasuke by rubbing in his loss? This drawing felt too comforting for that to be the case. He continued to inspect their smiling faces, wondering if perhaps his eyes had tricked him the first dozen times, but they still looked just as happy and content as before.

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. He wanted to read the letter, but that would be like giving in to Itachi's whims. He couldn't read the letter simply because that was what his brother wanted him to do. He folded the two lined pieces of paper along the two pre existing creases and stuffed it back into the envelope, which he then placed in the drawer of his bedside table.

He wasn't sure what he should do with the drawing. It was really very well done. Sasuke couldn't remember Itachi being interested in art, but it had been years since they had last seen each other. Itachi could be into anything by now, and Sasuke would have no idea. He didn't have the faintest clue how people passed the time in a psychiatric institution.

He ended up folding the drawing up again and sticking it back into the envelope next to the unread letter. It wasn't something he wanted to leave lying around to look at every day, but he couldn't bring himself to completely get rid of it either.

Sasuke went downstairs to distract himself with some bad television, leaving the pile of unsorted books, letters and journals on his bedroom floor to deal with another time. He needed a mental timeout. He was scrolling aimlessly through Netflix when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and opened his text messages. It was from Naruto, and read "hey." Sasuke blinked at it, completely confused. _Why is Naruto messaging me?_ It took him a moment to remember the weekend: kisses, dinner, et cetera. _Oh right._ He felt a bit stupid for forgetting about the monumental moment of his first kiss. He supposed it didn't really matter, since he'd probably kiss lots of people throughout his lifetime after high school. It wasn't like things were about to go anywhere serious with a carefree guy like Naruto. It wasn't like he _wanted_ things to go anywhere.

He texted back simply with "yo," and Naruto responded almost instantaneously. _The kid sure texts fast,_ he thought.

It read, "Are you doing anything today?"

 **Warning: Sasuke is an atheist in my story, and makes a few comments in future chapters towards Christian characters that could be offensive to religious people reading this. I would just like to point out beforehand that Koharu and Homaru do NOT embody my views on Christianity or religion as a whole. They are merely two characters, and do not represent any larger group or category of people. It is not at all my intention to disrespect anyone's beliefs. Also, please keep in mind that characters' opinions are not necessarily synonymous with my own thoughts.**

 **Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J. K. Rowling, Dragon Slayer's Academy belongs to Kate McMullan, and A Series of Unfortunate Events belongs to Lemony Snicket (Daniel Handler's pen name).**


	15. Full of Life

Sasuke rolled his shoulders and shifted his weight back and forth between either leg. His muscles felt stiff from stillness and cold. He had been waiting outside Ichiraku Ramen for over twenty minutes thus far. _He was the one who invited me,_ Sasuke pouted, _so why am I the one waiting for him?_ He thought back to his date with Sakura: how she had been waiting anxiously for him on that bench fiddling with the hem of her dress. _And I was actually a few minutes early,_ he continued grumpily. He looked down at the clothes he had chosen and realised that he was wearing black from head to toe. He wondered if he had done this subconsciously as a way of balancing out Naruto's passion for the color orange and concluded, _most likely._

Sasuke was just about to pull out his phone and start typing out a very irritated text message when Naruto suddenly appeared from around the block. Sasuke took in the sight of him as he made his way over. His blond hair was just as unkempt as ever, but his clothes actually looked nice for once. He wore an indigo button down shirt and dark jeans which, abnormally for Naruto, weren't shredded at the knees. Sasuke was at first surprised by the lack of orange, until he noticed the usual obnoxious jacket tucked under Naruto's arm.

He greeted Sasuke with a friendly, extremely platonic feeling side hug, then hurried into the restaurant. The hungry blond rubbed his palms together with anticipation while he scanned the restaurant for an available table. The restaurant was incredibly small, and was equipped only with four booths, two petite tables, and six counter stools. The kitchen was separated from the dining area by a tall multilevel counter. The lower level acted as the customer's table for those who chose the stools. The upper level acted as a barrier between the dining area and the kitchen, but it was still easy to see beyond it. The kitchen area was shiny and clean, clad in stainless steel.

"Naruto, it's been almost two weeks!" A young brunette woman with a white bandana tied around her hair waved to Naruto from behind the counter. "Come sit," she insisted, motioning towards the stools.

Naruto waved back with a grin and replied, "I'm actually gunna take the booth today, Ayame." He pointed a finger at Sasuke. "This one prefers dark corners." Sasuke glared at the back of his head. Naruto, who was not doing a very good job at stifling his giggling, bounded over to a booth in the far corner and plopped down. He continued to rub his palm together, wiggling childishly in his seat.

Sasuke followed obediently and sat down across from him, wondering why in the world he had ever offered to take this goofball out for legitimate ramen in the first place. He'd had no reason to; it had just been an abnormally generous whim of his. He rolled his neck, still feeling extremely tense. _Relax,_ he commanded himself. His shoulders did not want to obey.

The woman, Ayame, brought menus to their table. "Who's this handsome fellow?" she questioned Naruto goodnaturedly. Sasuke rolled his eyes, but neither of them seemed to notice.

Naruto blushed. "Ah, well, you know," he mumbled. "Of course a great looking guy like me has great looking friends." He smiled sheepishly at her, puffing out his chest and motioning towards himself with his thumb.

Sasuke blinked. _Friends?_

"Anyways! One extra large miso ramen with pork slices, please!" He ordered without even acknowledging the menu's existence. "And an egg," he added, "and pickles vegetables." Sasuke frowned, wondering how much this elaborate bowl of ramen was going to cost him.

Ayame nodded and turned towards Sasuke. "And for you?"

"Uh…" Sasuke picked up the menu and glanced over it quickly, but couldn't be bothered to read it all. "I'll just have whatever he's having," he told her, putting the menu down. He looked up at Naruto who was practically drooling by this point and added, "just the regular size, and just with pork slices."

"I'll get right on it," she assured them with a smile before trotting back to the kitchen.

Sasuke suddenly wasn't sure what to do next. It had been easy with Sakura because he could just ignore her and not care, but Naruto was watching him now with that same expectant expression, and this time Sasuke felt like he was in a fishbowl being watched by a set of big sky blue. He felt like he should say something, but nothing witty came to mind. Naruto continued to watch him, obviously waiting for something to happen.

 _I have nothing to prove,_ he reminded himself. _I'm only here because I needed to get out of the house for a while._ Sasuke leaned back and rested his head against the cushioned booth. The ceiling was painted a few shades lighter than the walls. Thinking about the reasons why he had agreed to go out for ramen had dragged his mind back to the drawing of his parents, and the unread letter from his brother still waiting in the drawer of his bedside table. He inhaled deeply, then released the breath as slowly as he could.

Ayame reappeared at their table with two huge bowls by the time he finished exhaling. Sasuke's bowl was bigger than his head, but Naruto's bowl was twice the size of Sasuke's. "I think your eyes are bigger than your stomach," Sasuke told him, using his chopsticks to point at Naruto's gargantuan bowl. He wondered how that young woman had carried it with one hand so effortlessly.

Any interest that Naruto had previously had in Sasuke completely vanished as the scent of ramen broth lulled him into a state of bliss. He grinned with half lidded eyes and took a good whif. "Awwwe, yeah," he moaned. "Come to me, baby." Sasuke wasn't sure what to make of that. Naruto clicked the chopsticks together twice before digging in, as Sasuke had seem him do before. He ate voraciously, and with no shortage of slurping sounds. Sasuke frowned, feeling somewhat overwhelmed by Naruto's glutinous methods for consuming ramen.

Sasuke eventually got bored of watching Naruto inhale his food, and reached for a spoon to taste the broth. It was salty, but not overwhelmingly so like the instant ramen had been. They ate without exchanging words. Sasuke thought the miso flavor went well with the pickled vegetables, but it tasted somewhat strange with the pork. He tried to focus on the sounds of clanking dishes coming from the kitchen to drown out Naruto's incessant slurping, but it was impossible. They ate without exchanging words.

"Ahh!" Naruto balanced his chopsticks on the edge of the bowl and leaned back, patting his stomach satisfactorily. "Thanks, Sasuke."

Sasuke looked at Naruto's empty extra large bowl with amazement, then looked back down at his own. There was still about a fifth of his serving left, but he was feeling pretty full and wasn't the type to stuff himself needlessly. "Do you want to finish mine?" he asked, pushing the bowl across the table.

"Really?" Naruto's eyes lit up as he reached for the bowl. He picked it up with both hands and slurped the rest down quickly.

"Your stomach must be some kind of black hole," Sasuke told him, almost impressed by the sheer capacity of this guy's stomach - or was it all will power, rather than stomach capacity? Naruto shot him a cheeky grin, then waved Ayame over for the tab.

Sasuke paid in cash so they wouldn't have to wait for his card to be run. He was feeling anxious to leave. Naruto thanked Ayame and the old man - Teuchi, he called him - enthusiastically, then followed Sasuke outside. It had gotten colder since they first went inside Ichiraku Ramen, or maybe Sasuke had only adjusted to the warmth of being indoors. He couldn't tell. He wrapped his arms around himself, regretting not bringing a warm coat. He'd thought long sleeves would be enough.

"Here," Naruto offered, holding out his black and orange jacket.

Sasuke looked at it reluctantly. He wanted to accept it because he was really cold. He also wanted to accept it because it was from Naruto, so it probably smelled nice, but if they ran into someone he knew it would be disastrous. Not only would he be wearing the worst imaginable color - aside from yellow, of course - but he would be wearing something that belonged to Naruto. With three people at school already knowing about his sexuality, this was something he simply could not risk. "No thanks," he replied. He let his arms fall to his sides, feigning comfort.

Naruto smirked mischievously. "You're shivering," he insisted. "I can see it." He tossed the jacket, but Sasuke resisted the instinctual urge to catch it. It hit his chest, then slid down his body onto the damp sidewalk. Sasuke smirked triumphantly. "Dude," Naruto whined. "You're such an ass sometimes." He scooped up his jacket and shook it out. "It's all dirty now." He glared at Sasuke weakly.

"I warned you fair and square I didn't want it," Sasuke countered. Bickering with Naruto felt a lot more normal than kissing him. He added, "idiot," just for good measure, then gave him a small wave and began walking towards his car.

He had made it about four straps away when it began to rain very suddenly. It was only a gentle mist at first, put it gained momentum quickly. He looked over his shoulder at Naruto, who was putting on that dirty jacket, then scanned the block for the small white car he'd seen Naruto driving a few times. It wasn't anywhere nearby, as far as Sasuke could tell.

"Crap," he heard Naruto mutter.

Sasuke sighed and turned back towards him. "Do you need a ride to your car?" he asked. The rain was coming down hard now, and Sasuke flipped his hood up over his hair.

"Actually," Naruto answered sheepishly, "I walked here." He gave Sasuke a halfhearted grin, scratching the back of his head with one hand. "I don't have a car of my own, I just borrow Iruka's when I can."

Sasuke heaved an exaggerated sigh of annoyance. "I guess I have to drive you home then."

Naruto's eye twitched in irritation. "Tsk. You don't have to make it sound like such a chore," he replied. "Don't bother. I'll just walk." He zipped his jacket all the way up and walked right past Sasuke.

Sasuke watched him stomp away. They had been in the rain for all of one minute, and they were both already soaked. Sasuke could already feel his wet shirt clinging to his body and his bangs sticking to his forehead. Naruto had a jacket at least, but it didn't appear to be water resistant or have a hood. _I guess I have no choice,_ he thought. "Naruto," he called. The blond paused to listen, but didn't turn his body. "You'll catch a cold, you idiot." He caught up with Naruto and slapped him on the back in a way that he imagined to be a sign of camaraderie. He had seen the jocks at school do it, and Naruto was by every cultural definition of the word, a jock. Thus the action seemed appropriate. "My car is this way."

Naruto grumbled something under his breath that Sasuke couldn't quite make out, but he followed Sasuke to the car. "Do you know the way from here?" Naruto asked as he got in the car.

"Hn," was Sasuke's reply.

Naruto seemed to understand, and sat quietly while Sasuke pulled away from the curb and began driving towards Naruto's house. After a short while he asked, "don't you have a stereo?"

"Yes," Sasuke answered, "but I prefer not to use it."

"You don't like musIc, then?" Sasuke's silence answered the question adequately. Naruto crossed his arms. "You're so strange."

There was a long silence before Sasuke decided on a response to this. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel and asked, "Why are you interested in me then, if I'm so strange?"

Naruto responded quickly with "I feel like I should be asking you that."

"Tsk." Sasuke wasn't fond of having his questions dodged. He turned his eyes towards Naruto when they reached a red traffic light. "Who knows? I can't figure out why myself."

A grin spread like melting butter across Naruto's face. "So I'm interesting, huh?"

"You're so full of yourself." The light turned green and Sasuke continued forward. They were nearing the house now.

"You just said it yourself," Naruto gloated. "You _like_ me, huh Sasuke?"

Sasuke frowned. He did not like being antagonized by the likes of Naruto. Physical attraction was just that: physical. "So we made out once, big deal." He pulled over in front of Naruto's house.

"Finally!" Naruto exclaimed. "Let's get to the elephant in the room, shall we?" He watched Sasuke intently with his arms still crossed over his chest.

Sasuke turned off the car. Neither of them spoke for a long while. The rain was now a downpour, and the rhythmic sounds of sheets of water slamming into the windshield filled the space in place of words, but it wasn't enough to wash away the tension between them. Sasuke was still needlessly gripping the steering wheel. He felt like he needed to hold onto something to stop himself from getting out of the car to escape this environment thick with discomfort.

Before, Sasuke had considered Naruto a comfort: a place to escape to. They would zone out and watch shows and everything else would fade away for awhile, but this situation was completely different. Now it seemed like Naruto expected something from him, and Sasuke had nothing to give.

"Whatever you think there is between us," Sasuke said, interrupting the long silence, "it's nothing." Sasuke turned his head to face Naruto, and their eyes met between two intense gazes. Naruto didn't need to respond with words. His eyes said it all. "You, with your family that eats dinner together at the table. There's no way that you could understand what life is like for me. I don't have time for things like. .." Sasuke trailed off, unable to find a suitable word for their relationship. "For things like this."

"I won't pretend like I know what happened to you, because I don't," Naruto began solemnly. "But someday, I would really like to talk about it all with you. Maybe that way we could understand each other a little better." He smiled. It was a kind smile - sad, but not defeated. It reminded Sasuke of the way his mother had smiled at him when he'd asked why his father favored Itachi so much. That was before Itachi had driven a splinter into their family. Before Itachi's falling out with their father. Before his friend Shisui had killed himself, something Sasuke had not truly grasped at the time. Before anyone knew that he heard voices and saw visions. Before he had ripped Sasuke's childhood apart the way an axe splits a dry block of firewood: with a single clean and decisive chop. The resulting flames of resentment had burned unceasingly within Sasuke ever since. This was something that surely Naruto could not know. No one could experience what he had, and still turn out as cheerful and full of life as Naruto. It wasn't possible.

"Get out," he commanded. Naruto scowled and left, slamming the car door behind him with decisive force.

 **I must apologize for the delayed update. I just got a second job so the chapters won't be coming daily anymore. I'll do my best though! I'm determined to see this story through to the end eventually.**


	16. A Strange Combination

**Warning: Spoilers for** **The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo** **.**

Sasuke gave Gaara a curt nod and stood to leave the classroom. Thankfully, he hadn't been called upon to do a presentation about an abstract piece of art. Frankly, he had forgotten all about the assignment after dropping off Naruto the previous day. He had spent the rest of his evening scribbling furiously in his journal, consumed by a strange combination of thoughts about both Naruto and his older brother.

He had English next - well, creative writing since it was Wednesday. Sasuke wasn't a huge fan of Professor Jiraiya, a teacher from the University of Fire who came on Wednesdays in place of their usual English Literature teacher. He was always asking female students if they were eighteen yet, especially the seniors, which Sasuke found unsettling. To think his brother had been ostracized for being gay, yet somehow this perverted professor hadn't been fired yet was ridiculous.

The English room was towards the center of the Arts building, and had no windows, but Sasuke settled into his usual back corner seat regardless. It meant one less infatuated girl could sit by him. As other students filtered in, he noticed for the first time that all of the female students were choosing seats as close to the door as they could get. _They probably feel claustrophobic in here with the Pervy Professor and no windows,_ he realised. _Now they know how they always make me feel._ He felt ever so slightly empathetic towards them. Sasuke averted his eyes and began pulling relevant things for class out of his bag and arranging them on the desk to occupy himself.

"Do you mind if I sit here?"

Sasuke turned to see Sakura taking a seat beside him without waiting for an answer. _It could be worse,_ he figured, giving Sakura a soft "hn" in reply.

She smiled at him. It was warm, but distant, as though her thoughts were thousands of miles away. She had been this way with him ever since their date, which had evidently given away some clue as to his lack of romantic interest in women, because she had put the pieces together rather quickly afterwards. Sakura was actually very bright. If her intentions towards Sasuke had not been so lustful, he thought they might have had a few interesting conversations, or possibly even made decent friends. Sasuke didn't like lustful people - people who threw themselves at the most sexualy attractive human around. That was why he didn't care for Jiraiya, even though as a teacher the man was very insightful. Sasuke watched Sakura out of the corner of his eye. She was fidgeting: tapping her toe against the ground softly and rocking her hips from side to side slightly.

"Sakura." He called to her by name softly, pulling her wandering mind back into her restless body. She looked at him with surprise, blinking as if trying to clear away a fantasy vision. "Sakura, you were right." Now her brow furrowed as her confusion deepened. "I mean about what you asked me after that date, when you and Naruto came to my house." Her eyes flitted away from his, first to the floor, then around in a semicircle up towards to heavens. She couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze, but he kept watching her anxiously to witness her reactions. "Please, can this stay between us and Naruto? It's no one's business but mine, and I don't want everyone to know."

Sasuke wiped the sweat from his palms off onto his pants. He wasn't sure what had come over him. This conversation had not been planned or considered beforehand whatsoever, but it seemed like the best course of action at that moment. He would rather confirm her suspicions in exchange for her confidentiality, as opposed to running the risk of gossip rising from her search for answers. He imagined her asking each of her friends one by one if they thought Sasuke might be gay. It would be a disaster for him.

"I know," she finally replied, still looking upwards. Her eyes were glossy, but Sasuke did not think that she would cry. "You can trust me, Sasuke. I'll always be on your side."

Sasuke had no reply to this. He silently thanked her in his mind, but did not share his thoughts with her. Sakura did not seem to mind. She smiled to herself, both with sadness at the confirmation of her fears, and with happiness at her newfound closeness with the boy she loved. They had by no means developed what either of them could call friendship, but there was a new trust between them that not even Sasuke could entirely dismiss.

X X X

 _Sasuke crouched in the darkness like a cat stalking prey. He dared not move a muscle, and took slow and shallow breaths._

" _That poor child," he heard Koharu sigh. "I hear his brother Itachi was found not guilty by reason of insanity."_

" _That's a load of rubbage, I say," Homura replied._

 _This did not make any sense. Itachi was guilty. Sasuke had been there. He had seen. He had heard. He had smelled. There was no denying that Itachi was evil. Sasuke pressed his ear to the cold wood of his foster parents' bedroom door to hear more clearly. Surely, he had heard them incorrectly. There was no way that they would let Itachi go free. That was impossible._

" _Schizophrenia, they say," the old woman continued. "I say he left the path of God, and the Devil crept into his mind and gave him visions of evil. I just hope that Sasuke hasn't been too exposed to Itachi's sinful, incestuous, homosexual ways," she spat coldly. "He's such a bright boy."_

" _He's with us now," Homura assured his wife. "Fugaku may have let Itachi follow the wrong path, but Sasuke has us to guide him."_

 _Sasuke frowned. He had always respected his father and sought his approval. To blame him for Itachi's evilness seemed ludicrous. Surely his father was not to blame for his own death. Sasuke felt dizzy with tiredness and confusion._

" _We'll have to talk to Sasuke about it eventually," Koharu said. She yawned. "Not yet, though. He's still so traumatised." He heard the bed frame creak, then their hushed voices became inaudible._

 _Sasuke slunk down the hall and returned to his room. His bed had become cold in his absence, so he curled up tightly for warmth. He closed his eyes, but could not fall asleep for fear of his brother, found not guilty by reason of insanity, roaming freely through the night in search of him, intent on finishing what he had started._

X X X

The rest of the week passed uneventfully. Sasuke managed to bullshit his way through the art presentation. Sasuke and Naruto finished the lab report via email without the involvement of personal conversation, and Sakura handed it in on Friday as usual. The rest of his school work was just busywork and memorization.

Sasuke spent Saturday sorting the rest of his book and journals. He decided to get rid of the vast majority of his books, mostly because they were from his childhood and no longer interested him. He only kept a few choice works, among which were his precious Edgar Allan Poe and Jack London short story collections, and of course A Series of Unfortunate Events purely for for what he considered to be silly sentimental reasons.

The rest he boxed and taped, then drove to the used book store where he accepted forty six dollars in store credit as opposed to half that in cash. He figured he would use it all eventually. While there, he put some of his store credit towards a beat up old paperback copy of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson, which he had yet to read but had heard good things about.

Sasuke began reading his new book as soon as he got home, and read late into the night until he became too hungry to continue. He prepared a box of macaroni and cheese with broccoli because he was feeling lazy, then continued to read while he ate. He left the dishes in the sink and went to bed with his mind full of thoughts about the relationship between Lisbeth Salander and Mikael Blomkvist, the two protagonists of the story. He was nearing the end of the book by this point, and planned to finish it the next day, but still could not wrap his mind around the two of them sleeping together. No love had come from the act, but how could it, when they had lived such different lives and had grown into such different people? One a criminal and the other a journalist. One a biker and the other a briefcase toter. One a young woman who had endured great hardships since early in life and the other a middle-aged man with a personality that had been shaped by a relatively normal life. Two people as far apart socially as they were could never find love in each other. They would have to settle for just screwing each other, and hopefully Blomkvist wouldn't get weird about it. Having come to a conclusion on the matter, Sasuke fell asleep.

He awoke Sunday morning to find that his right shoulder and upper arm were incredibly stiff. When he tried to push himself up to a sitting position with his right arm, pain shot through it unexpectedly, and he fell back onto the mattress in confusion. _I must have slept on it wrong or something,_ he figured. He used his left arm to push himself upright and massage his sore shoulder. He spent a few minutes testing his arm, and found that he could not use the muscles too much or lift his arm very high without pain.

He pulled on some sweatpants and a T-shirt, brushed his teeth left handed, then headed downstairs to start his coffee. After preparing the coffee grounds and the French press tediously with his remaining good arm, he resumed reading while he waited for the water to heat up. By the time the kettle whistled, his arm was starting to feel a little bit better. He could now lift his elbow parallel with his shoulder, but no higher. _Progress is progress,_ he reminded himself so as not to become even further annoyed by the pain and soreness. He drank his coffee black and continued reading.

He finished the book by late afternoon. Blomkvist had developed feeling for Salander, just as Sasuke had hoped for his sake that he wouldn't. This irritated him immensely.

X X X

 **Originally I had Jiraiya as the headmaster, which I mentioned briefly in chapter one, but upon further consideration I have decided to change this so that the third Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi, is actually the headmaster. I have edited this in chapter one, but I'm making this note for those of you who have been reading update-to-update thus far, so you're not totally confused. Ah, the joys of the post-as-you-go method. My apologies, I will do my best to keep things consistent from now on.**

 **Also, I hope the many literary references aren't bothering anyone. If it's too much please leave some feedback in your comments. I've been trying to keep it understandable even for those of you who haven't read some (or any) of the books mentioned, but it's hard for me to judge my own success on this matter.**


	17. His Calming Voice

Sasuke found that his shoulder was still incredibly sore when he instinctively reached for his alarm clock on Monday morning with his dominant hand. Wincing from the unexpected pain, he pulled his right arm back under the covers and rolled over to slap the miserable device with his left hand instead.

Everything took twice as long lefthanded: washing his hair, brushing his teeth, styling his hair, dressing himself, driving, et cetera. In the end, he didn't have time to prepare and drink his usual serving of coffee. If it had been any other day, he would have simply put it in a travel mug and drank it during first period, but Kakashi was very strict about not bringing food or drinks into labs. Choji had nearly failed the class the previous year for breaking that rule only twice.

Sasuke somehow managed to stay awake long enough to drive himself to school. He was over ten minutes late by the time he parked his car on campus, but he never worried too much about being late for Kakashi's classes since the silver haired teacher was late more than half the time himself. He halfheartedly regretted not just skipping labs altogether in favor of his morning brew as he entered the classroom.

"Ah, Sasuke. Nice of you to finally show up." Kakashi gave him a sarcastic smile from the front of the classroom and motioned towards his lab partners. Sakura and Naruto were sitting next to each other with empty stools on either side of them, so Sasuke had the option to choose which of them he would rather have as his neighbor. Sakura was looking over her shoulder, smiling at him. Naruto was looking forwards, slouching slightly with his arms crossed. He could not decide which seat would be less horrible in his uncaffeinated state.

"Earth to Sasuke," Kakashi teased. A soft wave of laughter briefly washed over the students, then was promptly sucked back into the sea of respectful classroom quietness. Sasuke scowled at Kakashi, but obediently took the seat next to Naruto. He hoped that Naruto, unlike Sakura, would be content to simply ignore him for the duration of the class.

The lab that morning involved changing the pH of a repeated enzyme catalyzed reaction. It was something that Sasuke remembered doing the previous year, so he quickly went about assigning tasks to his partners before the caffeine withdrawal headache had time to set in. First things first, Naruto was to juice the carrots and Sakura was to write up a blank data table.

Upon seeing Naruto's hesitation, Sasuke picked up the relevant beaker and held it out to him. "Okay Boss, one glass of carrot juice coming right up," was Naruto's bitter response to the gesture.

"I'm just trying to get us out of here quickly," Sasuke snapped. "It's not like you would have any idea what you're doing without us, so be grateful."

"So biology isn't my best subject. I admit it. Get over yourself." Naruto took the beaker Sakura had labeled "catalase" from him and stomped off towards the crowd of students waiting for a turn with the juicer.

"He's lucky to have us, it's true," Sakura chimed in once he had left. She moved in towards Sasuke, standing uncomfortably close to him as she leaned over the counter to continue sketching out the data table.

Sasuke couldn't help an involuntary eyebrow twitch. She's just parroting whatever I say, he thought to himself. "Label the test tubes next when you're done with that," he told her. "I'll go grab some hydrogen peroxide." He quickly labeled another beaker "H2O2" with a marker and a piece of masking tape, then left Sakura to search for the bottle.

He found it at Kiba's table. He was teasing Hinata by pretending he was going to pour it on her, and she in turn was blushing uncomfortably and attempting to swat the boy's hand away without causing a spill. Sasuke decided it would be best to approach the third member of their trio, who was sitting two seats away from them quietly sketching out a data table.

"Are you guys done with the hydrogen peroxide?" Sasuke asked the quiet kid. He felt like they knew each other from somewhere, but it was hard to tell since the high collar of his rain coat covered half his face.

"They're too rowdy for you, eh Sasuke?" the boy responded.

"Have we met?"

The boy's hand twitched suddenly, causing his pencil to fly from his grasp. Sasuke caught it as it fell off the counter and handed it back to the strange boy.

"You… you don't remember me?" The boy's voice was slightly lower now. He took the pencil, then stood and made his way towards Kiba. "You wouldn't want to spill this everywhere," the boy told Kiba. He snatched it from his grasp, picked the cap up off the floor, and handed them both to Sasuke. "It's me," the boy told him.

"Uhh.. who's you?" Sasuke was getting tired of this strange guy. He needed to get back to his lab so they could get the stupid thing done and leave.

"Humph." The boy sat down and resumed his work, completely ignoring Sasuke.

Sasuke shrugged. Whatever, the thought, unconcerned with such a strange person's opinion of him. I have what I came for. He returned to Sakura and Naruto.

The lab went smoothly for the most part until Sakura noticed that Sasuke wasn't using one of his arms to its fullest potential, and offered him a backrub. He declined with a silent glare, and she got the message.

"I'll take a backrub," Naruto volunteered. "Basketball practice finally started. It's been so rough!" He rolled his shoulders to make himself appear stiff.

"Idiot!" She smacked him upside the head, causing him to spill the contents of the test tube he was holding. "You're hopeless," she continued, putting her hands on her hips and looking down at the orange liquid spreading across the table.

"Ah fuck," Naruto whined, standing up to examine the wet spot on the knee of his pants.

"Don't curse in class!" Sakura smacked him again. This time the test tube slipped from his grasp and shattered on the floor.

Sasuke could not decide between smirking and scowling. They're both idiots, he concluded. He was beginning to grow accustomed to Naruto's and Sakura's bantering during labs.

"Alright, settle down," Kakashi instructed. "Everyone be careful of the glass." He made his way towards the location of the incident and put a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "I'm sure you know where the broom is by now," he said to him. "And as for you, Sakura," he said, turning towards her, "please don't hit my child."

Sakura blushed. "Sorry, Mr. Hatake," she murmured. With that, he left them and returned to his desk to resume reading.

"What a pain," exclaimed Naruto. He rose to his feet swiftly, turning away to fetch the broom and sweeping his arm across the counter in the process. Sasuke heard the sound of breaking glass before he saw the reflective shards flying in all directions. He instinctively shielded his eyes with his remaining good arm, then heard a cry of pain from Sakura immediately afterwards. His whole body froze. What happened? was the only thing he could think. Is she okay? He lowered the arm shielding his eyes and found her crouched on the floor with her face buried in her hands. Naruto was bending down beside her with one hand on her back and an extremely concerned expression on his face. He got to her so fast, he realised, impressed with Naruto's speed.

"Sakura!" Naruto called to her. "Sakura, are you hurt?" Sasuke could only stand back and watch with the rest of the students. "Oh my God, Sakura. Oh shit. I'm so sorry."

Sasuke couldn't see what was wrong. All he knew was that she had cried out, and her face was in her hands. Her face? he wondered. Her eyes, maybe? He could see that Naruto was becoming panicked now.

"Step back, everyone," came Kakashi's voice from somewhere behind Sasuke. His teacher's body pushed past his, and Sasuke momentarily lost his balance. He reached out blindly for something to steady himself on, eyes still locked on Sakura and Naruto. Naruto was rubbing circles on her back with his hand. Her breath was coming in short panicked gasps. Sasuke's outstretched hand found something to grasp, and he managed to steady himself for only moment before his knees buckled and met the floor.

"Sakura." Naruto called to her again and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned into his chest, still holding her face in her hands. Sasuke could only watch them.

Slowly, her breathing steadied. She took one final deep breath and pulled away from Naruto, who reluctantly released her. "I'm okay," she finally said. A wave of relief washed over everyone, even Sasuke. "I just got cut on my face and it freaked me out." She pulled her hands away and examined them. Her face was adorned by a number of minor cuts, but nothing serious. She was bleeding, but not badly.

Sasuke sighed. All that fuss for nothing, he thought. He attempted stand up again, now that the scare was over, but his legs would not cooperate. For a moment, he was confused and thought perhaps he had in fact been injured and not realised it, but then he saw Naruto pull Sakura back into his strong arms once again.

He embraced her, this time for his own comfort rather than Sakura's. "Thank God," he whispered.

Sasuke suddenly felt very ill, like a bowling ball had just been dropped into his stomach and he was about to vomit it back up. "Shit," he groaned under his breath. He grabbed the edge of the counter and managed to pull himself to his feet, but just barely.

"Alright, everyone back up," he heard Kakashi say. "There's nothing to see here. Sakura is just fine."

Sasuke placed both hands flat on the counter. He could not, no matter how hard he tried, look away from them. So he does love her, he thought. It wasn't like I believed him when he said otherwise but… he forced his eyes closed and attempted to stare into the darkness, but the image of Naruto wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her pink hair permeated his mind. It was all he could see. But what? he wondered. Why should I care? "Damn it."

"Are you hurt?" Sasuke opened his eyes and turned to face Kakashi. He was staring at him, and looked concerned.

"I'm fine," Sasuke replied. In reality he felt terribly sick, but it had nothing to do with broken glass or with Kakashi, so he had no intention of expressing this.

"Glad to hear it," Kakashi said with a small smile. "Now would you mind grabbing the broom?" Sasuke gave him a small nod and began making his way towards the closet on his wobbly, insubordinate legs. "Alright, everyone get your stuff together and head out, class is dismissed early," Kakashi told his students. "I don't want too many people in here at once with all this glass everywhere."

No one complained, and the last of the students were happily filing out of the room by the time Sasuke managed to locate the dustpan and return to the site of the accident. "Sakura, I want you to go see the nurse," Kakashi told her. She nodded, wiped her bloody hands off on a nearby paper towel, and left with her backpack. "You two are going to stay here and clean this place up," he told Naruto and Sasuke.

Sasuke was expecting Naruto to make obnoxious groaning sounds and protest this arrangement, but to he simply said "okay," to Sasuke's surprise. He supposed it was, after all, Naruto's fault for knocking the test tube rack off the counter.

"I'll leave you to it then," Kakashi told them. "I need to call Sakura's parents." With that, he left the classroom, leaving a very downhearted Naruto and an extremely ill Sasuke alone together.

"Let's wipe all the glass off the counters and seats first, then we'll put the stools on top of the counters and sweep the floor," Sasuke suggested once Kakashi's footsteps had faded into silence. He was actually glad to have a task to keep his mind occupied. Naruto made a sound in agreement, and the two of them began pushing tiny pieces of glass onto the floor with wads of paper towels. They worked silently until every nearby stool and counter had been wiped down, then Sasuke said, "okay, now the stools," after which they continued working silently. This part was a bit tricky for Sasuke, who was still unable to lift his right arm very high, but he managed.

When the last stool had been put up, Sasuke handed Naruto the dustpan, not wanting to end up with the job of the squatting dustpan holder himself. Naruto took it without complaint and said, almost inaudibly, "I know what you must be thinking."

Sasuke could not will away the hotness he felt gathering in his cheeks. Having an easily discernable blush was something he truly despised his fair skin for at times like this. "You don't know anything," he replied coldly, trying his best to assume his usual disinterested tone.

"I wasn't lying before when I said I had gotten over Sakura romantically," Naruto continued. "She's like a sister to me." He paused, trying to find the right words. "Do you have siblings?"

Sasuke was unsure how to answer. Technically, because another human being with the same biological parents as him existed, he did have one sibling, but he was still unsure how to answer Naruto. He did not really want to share that part of his life with anyone except Gaara, and even Gaara was making him regret ever sharing such information as of late with all his prying. "Why do you want to know?" he asked.

"For comparison's sake, I guess," Naruto replied. "I don't have any siblings or anything that I know of. I actually never met my parents. My mom died in childbirth and my dad committed suicide shortly afterwards, so I never got the chance to meet either of them, but I can imagine what it would be like, you know?" That sad yet still warm smile appeared on his face. Sasuke remembered seeing it before. "Iruka and Kakashi are like my parents now," he continued, "and Sakura is maybe like a sister who thinks I'm a pest, but we still look out for each other."

"Tsk." Sasuke took a step back from Naruto. "Like I said before, you don't know anything," he replied coldly. "It seems you were alone from the start, but I had a family." Sasuke clenched his hands into fists at his sides. "I was loved."

"Brother, why? What's wrong with mom and dad? What happened?"

He felt like his emotions were running wild and speaking words in his place, which was highly unusual for him.

"Foolish little Sasuke. You should thank me, really."

"I had everything ripped away from me," he continued, unable to stop himself.

"Sasuke, don't you see? I've saved them."

"He took everything away from me!" he cried. His voice cracked, and he suddenly realized how loud he was being. Somehow he had digressed into shouting in the midst of his tangent.

"Sasuke, I'm sorry," Naruto replied calmly. His voice was soothing, like honey on a sore throat.

"You don't know anything," Sasuke croaked again. His whole body was shaking uncontrollably. He turned away from Naruto and returned his hands to the counter to steady himself like he had done earlier.

The kitchen knife glinted in the light. Blood trailed from the blade down Itachi's forearm, and dripped from his elbow onto the soaked carpet. "Shall I save you as well, little brother?"

His eyes stung. Don't cry, he told himself. Not like this. Not in front of him. Then he felt two strong arms wrap around his waist. Naruto was holding him again, just like that time before in his bedroom. Just like he had held Sakura, who he cared for as a family member.

"You're safe." Naruto's calming voice drifted into his ears and through his mind. The image of falling droplets of blood faded away, and the classroom became clear again. "You're safe," Naruto repeated softly in his ear.

Safe. Sasuke thought he felt a bug crawl down his face. Only when he felt Naruto squeeze him tighter did he realise that it was actually a tear.


	18. A Man of His Word

Sasuke rubbed his eyes with his wrist again, He wasn't crying - he had only shed a single tear earlier - yet his eyes continued to itch infuriatingly. He was leaning back against the counter. Naruto was sitting on it beside him with one hand on Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke was still unsure whether he wanted to shrug it off or put his own hand on top of it.

"Doing any better?" Naruto inquired gently.

Sasuke allowed his hand to fall away from his eyes and blinked a few times in another futile attempt to clear away the itchiness. "I'm perfectly fine," he told Naruto coldly. Naruto had already seen more weakness from Sasuke than anyone else ever had, excluding his brother.

"Like I said earlier," Naruto continued, "I'm all ears if you ever want to talk about it." Sasuke felt Naruto's hand slide across his upper back from one shoulder to the other. It curled around his other shoulder, so that Naruto had his arm wrapped around him. "I can probably relate to most of it."

Again, Sasuke considered shoving him away and promptly leaving, but something held him there. Maybe it was the warmth of another body, something he rarely experienced, or maybe it was the fact that Naruto, despite all of Sasuke's efforts to resist, was actually capable of making him feel safe. He turned to look at the boy sitting on the counter beside him. He was not smiling, yet his expression remained warm and inviting. Sasuke could sense that he was eager for information, but he had no intentions of bearing his soul that day. Instead, he brought a hand up to his shoulder and allowed his fingers to curl around Naruto's hand. His other hand, which was resting on the counter squished between Naruto's leg and his own hip, remained where it was.

"Hey," Naruto called to him softly. "I'm worried about you."

Sasuke looked away from him. "Don't be," he responded.

Naruto sighed pitifully. "I get that something bad must've happened to you," he said, "but you don't have to give me that cold attitude twenty-four seven." Sasuke felt weight on the side of his head and assumed it was Naruto's forehead. "Let's ditch school." he suggested in Sasuke's ear. His warm breath tickled slightly.

"No thanks."

"I had a feeling you'd say that," Naruto sighed. He gave Sasuke a playful squeeze, then uncoiled his arm from around his shoulders and slid off the counter. "You're such a star student. I bet you're applying to all those super prestigious universities, right?"

"Like it's any of your business." Sasuke shifted his weight and pulled his body away from the counter. His hand also slid off the counter in the process, and Naruto caught it between his own.

"Just this once," he pleaded, holding Sasuke's hand to his chest. "Take a day off, just for one day." He moved in closer and slipped an arm around Sasuke's waist. Sasuke could not find the resolve to resist him, and allowed it. Their bodies pressed together, and Naruto whispered in his most sultry voice, "your place or mine?"

 _Naruto turned to Sakura sheepishly. "So, my place or yours?"_

All at once, Sasuke's dignity came back to him like a slap in the face

" _Sakura." Naruto called to her again and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned into his chest, still holding her face in her hands. Sasuke could only watch them._

"Get off!" Sasuke shoved Naruto away with unexpected force, causing him to stumble backwards until he collided with a stool and managed to use it to steady himself.

Naruto gave him a bewildered stare. "Did I do something wrong?"

Sasuke knew he had overreacted. Naruto was unraveling him to a degree that no one else could - in a way that Sasuke had never thought that anyone except Itachi could. Of course, this situation was worlds away from the situation with his brother. The problem with Naruto was his strange magnetism. It was so easy for him to suck Sasuke into his charming smile, his endlessly blue eyes, his enticing scent. It scared Sasuke how easily Naruto was able to manipulate his mood.

"I'm sorry if I did anything you don't like," Naruto told him, moving towards him slowly as if attempting to corner a frightened animal. "I won't touch you again, if that was the problem," he assured him, still moving forwards cautiously. "But," he added, suddenly grinning in that familiarly mischievous way of his, "you didn't seem to mind touching so much last time." The grin widened. "Wasn't it actually _you_ who tried to go for the gold?"

"Tsk." Sasuke bit his lower lip in thought. Naruto was still moving in on him, but he could probably make it to the door if he backed away now, before it was too late. "Don't flatter yourself," he said, preparing to make his escape.

"You're so sexy when you bite your lip like that," Naruto teased, rapidly closing the gap between them now.

Naruto's words were so unexpected that Sasuke's body instinctively froze up, and Naruto was right in front of him again before he could will himself to move away as planned. Sasuke braced himself, preparing for Naruto's attack, whether it be violent or flirtatious. He sucked in a deep breath and held it in anticipation, waiting for Naruto do something uncomfortable, but nothing happened. Naruto's gaze was as intense as ever, but he made no move to touch him. Then Sasuke remembered that Naruto had promised not to touch him again just a few moments ago. They were so close that Sasuke could feel the other boy's breath on his face. He remembered that he was holding his own breath, and released it slowly.

Naruto gave him a coy smile. "I'm a man of my word, Sasuke," he said confidently.

Sasuke refused to let himself unravel like he had before, that time in Naruto's bedroom. He was not about to let Naruto sweep him off his feet like some horrendously cheesy knight in shining armor character. _I'm not some princess,_ he thought bitterly as he moved in to meet Naruto's advances head on. Their chests pressed together, then their foreheads followed.

"I made the first move last time," Naruto told him in a low and breathy voice.

Naruto's attempts at subtlety were never successfully very subtle in Sasuke's experiences, yet the boy had such tremendous pride in his own words. This sense of dignity seeped into Sasuke like the heat from their bodies, and somewhere in the subconscious of his usually uninterested and unconcerned mind, something akin the masculine pride flickered. _Naruto is just like the sun,_ Sasuke thought, in which case he himself was a mere candle catching hold of Naruto's fiery passion: a small imitation flame of Naruto's fearless method for seizing life.

They came together in a kiss for the third time in the biology labs room at Konoha High School, but this time it was Sasuke who leaned in first and pressed their lips together. Naruto returned the kiss with eagerness, but still made no move to touch Sasuke with his hands, which remained limply hanging at his sides. Sasuke put his own hands on either side of Naruto's waist. He felt the firmness of his body through the thin black shirt, and was aware of his own body's aching desire to be touched. He remembered Naruto's unfamiliar caresses from the previous time; how eagerly adventurous hands had explored his body, and how Sasuke, in turn, had leaned into Naruto's caresses. He desired that same feeling again now, as he deepened the kiss in an attempt to encourage Naruto to reciprocate Sasuke's sudden need for contact. He wanted to be held in Naruto's strong arms again. He wanted Naruto to want him. "Touch me," he instructed, his voice barely above a whisper. He could not resist the intensely hot blush that came over his face after the words left his mouth, but Naruto reacted to them as hoped. Two hands came up to cup Sasuke's face, and this time Naruto was the one to deepen the kiss by sliding his touch along Sasuke's bottom lip, then gently biting down. A tremor passed through Sasuke's body. As he pulled away to gasp for air, the friction of Naruto's teeth against his flesh caused him a slight but sudden pain. He licked his own lip to taste for blood, but found none. He barely had time to register how this pain had sent his blood rushing through his body to condense between his legs, when Naruto was upon him again. He pressed his tongue against Sasuke's mouth to ask for admittance, and Sasuke in turn parted his lips to allow him entry.

Naruto moaned into the kiss, and Sasuke could actually feel the vibrations of his voice, which elicited another moan from Sasuke himself this time. Naruto, in response, slid his hands across the tender skin of Sasuke's neck, then over his collar bones and down his chest. Then he coiled both arms around Sasuke's slender waist and pressed their bodies even closer together until Sasuke became aware of something hard pressing into his thigh. It would seem that Sasuke was not the only one becoming excruciatingly turned on. "Like this?" Naruto teased, giving the side of Sasuke's waist an affectionate squeeze with his fingers.

Sasuke smiled into the kiss, causing the two of them to pull apart so their lips barely brushed against one another's. He was tempted to reach for the swollen mass that was pressing into his thigh and say to Naruto, "more like this," but he could not bring himself to do it. Lust for this muscular, tan, dream of a man before him had already gotten him this deep into trouble. He did not need to go any further.

"Jesus, kids!"

Naruto and Sasuke sprang away from each other instantly upon hearing the voice of Kakashi Hatake. It was unlike Kakashi to become startled or blurt such exclamations, but the sight of his adopted son and another male student holding each other seemed to have done the trick.

"Naruto," Kakashi said, his voice now back to its usual calm intonation. "I'm surprised. I thought you only liked the ladies."

 _Oh my god,_ was all Sasuke could think. Any sexual tension that had been building between him and Naruto vanished in an instant, and suddenly all he could bring himself to think about was how incredibly, shamelessly, hopelessly stupid his actions had been. _What was I thinking?_ He asked himself pathetically, immediately regretting his own internal inquiry when the answer came to him. _Getting swept away by Naruto_ , he answered himself, feeling even more pathetic and idiotic.

Sasuke studied Naruto's face intently for his reaction, but too many emotions were playing across his features at once for Sasuke to be able to discern anything useful from watching him. He was blushing and sweating profusely though. He was rather cute in a panicked, frenzied sort of way, as much as Sasuke knew that this was not the time for such thoughts.

He turned towards Kakashi, knowing that his expression was likely comparable to Naruto's in patheticness. "Well, no matter," Kakashi continued casually. "You must have gotten your taste for diversity from me." He shot Naruto a cheeky a smile, then turned towards Sasuke. "As for you, Sasuke," he began, his expression already back to a blank state. Sasuke swallowed meekly. "Making out with Naruto in an unlocked classroom during school hours seems rather detrimental to your attempts at pretending to be straight."

Sasuke was surprised. He had always imagined a scenario like this going much worse for him. He expected punishment, blackmail, shaming - _something._ He supposed it was just his lucky day that the person who found them together happened to be a very open-minded and gay individual himself.

"Oh man…" Naruto mumbled. Sasuke noticed that the other boy's fingers were twitching nervously.

"Sasuke, your next class starts in twenty minutes. Move along," Kakashi instructed, stepping out of the doorway and into the classroom. His eyes the narrowed on Naruto in a manner that was unusually menacing for him.

Sasuke obediently and silently collected his bag, catching Naruto's eye for a moment as he did so. They seemed to silently plead _please don't leave me,_ but Sasuke had no choice, and neither did he have any particular desire to stay. Surprisingly, even to himself, Sasuke trusted Naruto to handle things, and to make sure that Kakashi would not spread the word about what he had just seen. Naruto knew how important this was, and Sasuke had come to trust Naruto as a man of his word, just as he had described himself.

Sasuke left the room, then watched the door shut ominously after him. He stood in the hallways for a couple of minutes thinking about the lecture Naruto was probably receiving. He eventually wandered off in the direction of his French Literature class, still feeling both elated by Naruto's kiss and terrified by Kakashi's interruption at the same time. He was almost certain that he was not walking in a straight line, though he could not say for sure. The only thing that his numb mind could be sure of was that he really wanted to kiss Naruto again.


End file.
